Merry Christmas!

Since I've been on a real Beatles kick lately, here is some Beatles and Beatles-related Christmas music. Hopefully I'll be back before New Years with some real posts with more than just videos. But till then, the people in Section 25 wish you "a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let's hope it's a good one; without any [preseason injuries or coaches lost to other jobs or signing day disappointments or losses or bammer wins or] fear!"

Let Me See Ya Tiger Walk!

The Auburn response to "Eric Berry Rap???" You decide.




*Probably not as funny (no dancing girls and awkward looking football player), and less Tennessee-ish (more team centered and less individual). Still. Powerful, powerful stuff there.

War Damn Sarah Marshall

Just saw this on CBS, went to my computer to post something about it, and TheAuburner beat me to it. Freaking Mark.

Nothing Really Matters

In the spirit upon which this blog was founded, and since there's no important developments in college football today, here's something completely different.

It's Business Time

Football season is the most fun time of the year. There's nothing I look forward to more than going to Jordan-Hare Stadium after a long day of tailgating. Win or lose, me, my friends, my date, and 87,000 others all get loud and spend our Saturday the most fun way we know how; cheering on the Tigers with everything we've got. And I love it.

But not tomorrow. Not the Alabama game. It's like work, but worse. Even during the peak of the streak, years when Auburn was favored by a healthy enough margin to feel confident, the nerves were still there. For one day in November every year, my nails get chewed down to the quick, every halftime I pace a trench into the concourse behind the concession stand. Every year, my Dad threatens to go see a movie, and I threaten to go with him.

But when we win, the celebration is all worth it. So we're in the stands or in front of the TV every year, just like you. Because we know what the stakes are this week. Not title hopes, not awards, but pride.

So let's get down to business.

Let's do what we do.

BEAT BAMA!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!!

'Nuff said.

The people of Section 25 fill their hearts with hate

Chizik and Saban?

There's a lot of TV/movie references floating around the Auburn internets (see: The Auburner, The Pathos, War Blog Eagle).

I figured I'd join the fun with the obligatory 300 (click it).

Hopelessly outnumbered? Check. Most likely facing defeat? Check. Walking steadfast into the slaughter? Check.

The Bama game is upon us, and talk sounds a lot like it did at this time last year, most of it to the effect of "Auburn won't win". But the feeling is different this year. The season has been a success and the future certainly seems clearer and brighter than it did last Thanksgiving. Things may not work out on Friday; we might lose that battle, but if we do, I feel confident that unlike last year we are going down swinging. If they must, the boys in blue are going down like Auburn men, fighting that hated foe with every last ounce of their being. And maybe-just maybe-the "impossible" will happen.

I post this in the hopes that in one year's time*, this 300/ Thermopylae reference will be completed.

Give thanks men! For Chizik and his brave 75! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!

*But preferably on Friday.

3:00 AM: Just got back on the plains from Athens. Full thoughts coming soon.

Last Minute Prediction: Read at Own Risk of Lowered I.Q.

I'm on my way out the door to Athens. We're gonna need this one to fill our New Years Day plans. I should have learned my lesson about predictions, but I'm going to take the leap here:

AUBURN 31 uga 24

WAR DAMN EAGLE! LET'S DWWD!

Veterans Day

Thanks to all our men and women of the armed forces. Without you, I can't rant, rave, and make rediculous observations with the freedom I have today.

We here in Section 25 have a suggestion for New Years plans...

Other than any BCS Bowl, this is the best option by my book. The first Cotton Bowl in Cowboy Stadium sounds like a blast. Even if by some miracle we win this weekend AND in a couple of weeks, I'd rather take the Cotton Bowl than Capital One (doubtful that would happen anyway).

But we MUST win this weekend. So lets take care of business in Athens so I can grab a hotel in Arlington. Sound good? Good.

WDE

BOOM!

Chizzed on.

33-20.

Ch-Ch-Changes

So it's been a couple of weeks since I've made a post. That annoying school thing has gotten in the way again. Apologies all around. A lot has changed since my last post. Well, not including the egg-on-my-face post. Things are about the same since the egg-on-my-face post.

I've learned my lesson about predictions though, and that lesson is "don't make predictions". I still think that, based on the facts that I saw, I made a good prediction. It was based on the idea that our offense was a force to be reckoned with. Even in the second half of the Arkansas game, the offense showed that it could be very explosive. Unfortunately, college football has a certain unique way of surprising you and defying expectations. That's probably why I love it so much.

Somewhere on the road from Knoxville to Fayetteville the Gus Bus blew a tire and by the time it limped into Auburn for the Kentucky game, the wheels fell off. What happened over the last few weeks? The most likely answer is also the most frustrating one. The personnel aren't yet in place to take this offense to a level where it can perform consistently against SEC caliber defenses. Chris Todd's arm is certainly not helping matters. And everyone knows that once the medium to deep passing threat is taken out of this offense, (or any offense really) the running game becomes mostly easy to defend. Seven or eight men in the box later, and we're left with virtually no offense.

The good news is, this is not 2008. And as I mentioned before, making predictions is no good. We know the offense is capable of being great. It may be that Gus is one adjustment away from getting the Bus back up and running. Ultimately, either way this season goes, we are making steps in the right direction. I hate to say it, but it is a process, aight?

The only thing we can do now is what everyone from Jay to SGA President Watkins said we should do: pull together and show support for this Auburn team. That means no boo birds. We need to step up and be the 12th man on Saturday, because let's face it, this team needs all the depth it can get.

War Damn Eagle! Let's beat the Rebels!

Woah! We're halfway there!

The alarm clock on my phone rang out. I groped around my bedside table and shut it off. I glanced at the woman next to me, trying to remember her name. Stumbling over beer bottles, eyes filled with the drowsiness of the long night before, I drug myself out of bed. The creak from the door echoed like a cannon in my ears, the light coming in from the window blinding me. I trudged into the sitting room of my hotel suite and threw myself onto the couch, knocking the pizza boxes out of may way. My roomates were still passed out in the floor, bottles of Jack still in hand, one with his pants around his ankles. Why? I couldn't tell you. I glanced at the clock. 10:55. Entirely too early. How could anyone get up this early on a Saturday? I grabbed the remote for the TV, which had been left on the night before. I flipped around and found ESPN. They were just finishing up their picks on Gameday.....

GAMEDAY! HOLY S#!T! Auburn has a football game in 5 minutes! We'd better get ready.

And that's how the Auburn football team started their day on Saturday, or at least I wouldn't be really surprised if someone were to tell me that. By the time they got good and awake, the score was 34-3, and the game was as good as over. As it was, the above story was more like my own Saturday morning. Except for the crazy night before. And the fancy hotel. And the girl. I live a sad life.

After the initial embarassment of the game faded away, I came to realize that I'm not all that upset. Sure the loss hurts, and so does the fashion in which it came. But then I took a step back. We are 5-1, most likely 6-1 going into the LSU game. Had anyone said 7 weeks ago that we would have one loss at this point, I'd take it in a heartbeat. I also never would have guessed that I'd be this confident going into the second half of the season. I am going to make a bold prediction right now. Auburn should be a 10-1 team going into the Bammer game.

You might say I'm drinking the kool-aid, and viewing the world through my orange and blue glasses. But hear me out. In my opinion, the only team that we should lose to is a team with a strong offense. Our offense had a truly HORRENDOUS day on Saturday, and still managed to put up 23 points. So even if the offense comes out flat, and plays that way for an entire half, if the other team can't put up a substantial total on the scoreboard, we've still got a great chance of winning.

Let's take a look at the biggest challenges remaining on the schedule. The next big threat is LSU. Frankly, the only thing that scares me about this team is the fact that we have to play in Death Valley at night. But we've seen that Auburn can respond well to the intense, hostile environments this league can throw at you. LSU's offense gives Tennessee's a run for it's money in ineptitude. The only reason they don't have a 3-3 record at this point is MSU's quarterback's lack of awareness of how to score a touchdown, and a rediculous celebration penalty that never should have been called. I feel Auburn's losing streak in Baton Rouge drawing to a close in a narrow victory.

Ole Miss just has not impressed on any front this year. Their defense is solid, but Jevan Snead may have been the most overrated quarterback in history at the beginning of the year. He crumbles under any kind of pressure. If we can get any semblance of pressure against him, this game will be over. Their defense can't keep Todd & Co. out of the endzone as often as they'll need to win.

The only other threat on the schedule is Georgia, whose defense is probably worse than ours, and their offense has been inconsistent at best.

Bama is a different story. There may not be another team as well rounded as them in the whole league. Florida included. If there's one team on the schedule that I think "should" beat our Tigers, it's them.* But I will reserve my prediction on that for another time.

The point I'm making is that, on paper, Auburn should win it's next 5 games. Then again, Auburn should have won on Saturday. On any one of those five games, Auburn could very well come out half awake again, and drop a loss somewhere we shouldn't. Only time will tell. But right now, I feel like it will tell us something we want to hear. Keep the faith Auburn people! We're only halfway there!

*It hurts me to say that. Really it does. But I can't in all honesty say they haven't impressed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash out my own mouth with soap. And yes, I will be using Lifebuoy.

Hell no! We won't... not walk!!

In case you haven't heard, UT has "canceled" the Tiger Walk for Saturday. Apparently, it's a safety issue for the fans. I say NO! I'll bet Coach Chizik and the team see this for what it really is: IMPOSTOR! Kiffykins has played his mind games before, as I'm sure you all remember, against Florida ("...singing Rocky Top all night long..." bla bla bla, LOSS). Of course, Hello Kiffin explained it all away after the game saying it was to take the pressure off the team. Maybe it did. But the bottom line is that the Auburn football team is not susceptible to such ploys. Chris Todd will simply fire a few mind bullets in the direction of Kiffin and all will be well, so I'm not worried about any effect on the team.

But for me, the fan, it gets me mad. Scenario: School A invents tradition. School B rips off tradition. School B doesn't allow School A to continue tradition, but proceeds with it themselves.

" "In 2004 when the Tigers played here, we had approximately 5,000 fans show up with the band and the cheerleaders, which was a great atmosphere, but a huge safety issue for the student-athletes, band and cheerleaders and fans because of the tight space," said a Tennessee spokesperson."

Sounds to me like someones a little jealous that even though it's an away game, 5,000 showed up to show Tennessee how to walk the Walk.

So I'm going to be there on Saturday to support the team. Word on the skreet--that's how the hip kids say it, skreet--is that the Tiger Walk is ON for around 5:00 on Saturday! (I'll post any updates I hear on that here.) So be there to show the team that we're behind them, whether Tennessee likes it, or not!

War Damn Tiger Walk, and WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

IIIIIII wanna knooow.....

Somewhere in the world, a lesser fan, sitting on his couch waiting for the last games of the day to get started said to himself, "well that rainstorm down in Auburn will just kill the atmosphere of that game. I'll bet this will really play into West Virginia's hands and take the crowd out of the game." But somewhere in section 25--and 26, and 27, and all the way back to section 18--15,000 Auburn students showed how much they really do believe in Auburn. It started with just a few drops, but our spirits never dampened. And when the bottom really dropped out, that only fueled the party. It seemed like it would never stop, but no one left. And the harder it rained, the louder that student section got.

Meanwhile, 72,000 older, and more sane Auburn fans, rode the storm out in the jammed but dry concourses under the stadium. Some had four or even six hour drives to make after the game ended, but they toughed it out.

And when the team finally took the field, imagine how they felt when they looked up and saw all 87,451, still there, still loud, still pulling for their Tigers. Coach Chizik knows what that meant to the team and said he wished there were 87,000 game balls to hand out.

That was absolutely the most fun I've had as a student since the 2006 Florida game. When the game finally got underway, it was every bit as dramatic as the pregame. When the Auburn D came out flat in the first quarter, we were stunned and worried. Is this what we waited an hour in a hurricane for? Surely this team wasn't going to lay down and give up like last years team. Of course they won't! So we stuck around a little longer, and Chizik, Malzahn, and the boys in navy blue and burnt orange gave us a better reason to believe than they'd given us the two weeks before--or all offseason--that this was a different Auburn team from last year. They showed toughness. They did not say, "here we go again" and accept defeat. And for three and a half quarters, they fought back.

It wasn't always pretty. Noel Devine, Jarrett Brown and an excellent Mountaineer gameplan picked out our weaknesses, exploited them, and hit us in the mouth early. And they continued to land blows until the third quarter. But the team didn't back down. Eventually, the pressure on Brown forced him into mistakes. And Auburn capitalized.

The West F Virginia defense also played a great game, taking away Malzahn's/Auburn's beloved running game. How did the Tigers respond? Instead of doing what last year's staff called "sticking to the gameplan", Auburn took what the defense gave us, and put it in the air. WFVU dared us to beat them through the air, and in several pressure filled drives where everyone was saying "this drive is critical" Todd and the Tigers delivered.

In the end, we got beat in the X's and O's department. We were out-gained by 100 yards. But when it counted, Auburn made their own luck, and showed guts, toughness, and resolve. And that's a bigger reason to believe in this Auburn team than any other.

So bring on the rain! It may not turn out as a win every time, but I know that Auburn is going to stick it out and leave it all in the stadium on gameday; in the stands AND on the field, and that makes me damn proud to be an Auburn Tiger.

WFVU!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, the class of the college football world:

Ok, maybe that's not fair. One guy in a WFV t-shirt with a mullett doesn't represent the fanbase. He probably had that specially made for him one night when he was drunk.

Oh, well you know, perhaps that wasn't fair either. Every fanbase has a few crazies, right? I'm sure these guys are just the exception to the rule.

Hmm, I suppose everyone gets a little crazy on game weekend, when they get a little Milwaukee's Best in them, don't they? Sure they do! I'm sure West Virginian's aren't like that all the time.

Well come on! There's not even any evidence that any of these people are even West Virginia fans. I've never even been to West Virginia. I must just be a little bitter about last year's unfortunate football game where West Virginia team beat a divided, demoralized, hopeless Auburn football team with a stagnant offense and a fading defense last year.



Surely no one else would draw similar conclusions who have actually been there, would they?


I'm sure that everyone associated with WVU are honest, wholesome people.

"If he wanted to keep his money, he shouldn'ta made it rain!"

So let's go out, have a fun, sportsmanlike game on Saturday night, and GET SOME SWEET, SWEET REVENGE! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!

*stoptherunplzthx

Predictions!

Auburn comes in and puts up another solid all-around showing and wins 35-13.

What say ye?

Also, for your viewing pleasure:




Get pumped up for some football!! WAR DAMN EAGLE!

La. Tech Thoughts

And so, tonight I once again find myself amongst the sunshine pumpers. Perhaps its just because of what we've gotten used to seeing over the past couple of years that has me spewing hope and happiness and rainbows and unicorns, but dangit I feel better about this year. 556 yards of offense can do that to a fan of a team that hasn't seen a really competent offense since 2005. On Saturday, Auburn showed that competency with a balanced offensive attack and a dominating defense.

Offense: A renewed Chris Todd captained an Auburn offense that was fun to watch. The buzz has been about Todd connecting with Terrell Zachary for the longest play in Auburn history. That's a testament to great play-calling by Arthur Gustav Malzahn III more than it is about Todd's improvement from last year to this. If you want to see the proof that Todd is becoming the same quarterback that he was always supposed to be, look no further than his 17 yard touchdown pass to Darvin Adams at the back pylon. Old Chris Todd would've floated that up for a pick. New Chris Todd dropped that pass in where no one in the stadium but Darvin could have caught it. A young receiving corp showed why Trooper has been raving for the past month. I'm excited about our passing game. As for the running game:

What can you say about Onterio McCalebb? A huge game for him that could be a testament of great things to come. I doubt he will have the same numbers against SEC caliber defensive speed, but I'm excited nonetheless to see what he can do. I think it will be a lot. Combine his "lightning" with Ben Tate's "thunder" and Auburn can have a very effective running game this season.*

There is certainly room for improvement for the offense, especially in the way of turnovers, but I expect those things to work out (or for the coaches to work it out of them) in the next week or so.

Defense: La. Tech never really was able to move the ball on the Auburn defense all night. The only touchdown drive was due to two long penalties that CGC attributed to effort. If these penalties aren't called, and the offense doesn't turn the ball over, the final could easily have been 51-6. But if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, I'd have one heck of a stomachache at the moment.

As it was, the defense played very well, especially considering the depth issues on that side of the ball. Eltoro Freeman and Nosa Eguae were both held out due to injury. Freshman Daren Bates and Sophomore Nick Fairley had huge games and showed why they earned starting jobs. And although the inexperience was exposed once or twice, the overall performance of the defense was great. Expect big things from them this year.

Wildcat: "Kodi Burns is an Auburn man." You heard it, and now you've seen the proof. Kodi stepped up and showed great maturity when he was moved to WR this summer. He made sure that his number one priority was the unity of the team, and doing everything he could to help Auburn win games. How did the coaching staff reward him? With nothing less than a significant role in the offense and the first touchdown of the season. Recruits, take note: if Gene Chizik says you will help the Tigers win, you will help the Tigers win. 10 points to Chizik and 10 points to Kodi. I got the feeling that the Wildtiger/eagle/plainsman was relatively vanilla on Saturday, so look out whenever it goes into overdrive.

La. Tech: The only thing I have to say about La. Tech is a quick comment on their fanbase. On the way to the game I was accosted by several La. Tech fans. I was a little stunned by this, so I just ignored them really. I've seen Auburn play many a game against La. Tech and have always found them to be a classy bunch of people. They enjoy the game, cheer hard, and will shake your hand after the game. This is not an indictment on La. Tech as a whole, but really just this one group of douche bags. So -10 points to douche bags, and 10 points to La. Tech fanbase that it's taken me this long to find any. Usually you find one on your first meeting with a team.

Overall: Look out. This Auburn team was NOT clicking on all cylinders on Saturday (see busted routes/turnovers/ penalties). It was NOT healthy (see Freeman/Eguae). Yet it still took care of business in a convincing fashion. Sure, not every team we play is a WAC team, but when things start clicking at 100%, this team is going to be pretty darn good. I can't wait till Saturday!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

*On a recruiting note, and as far as the McCalebbs are concerned, word on the skreet was that Onterio's younger brother attended Saturday's game, and that he is even faster than Onterio. Awesome.

TROOPER!

I just heard today that Trooper Taylor will be speaking at the pep rally on Friday night at Toomer's Corner. This calls for a CELEBRATORY CHEST BUMP!!!

PEP-RALLY!!

(Just imagine a less vomity colored orange)

I usually don't attend the pep-rallies, but I think this week I'm going to have to make an exception. I'd like to get a little taste of what the players get on a weekly basis. I would advise everyone in town to check it out. It starts around 6:00.

THREE MORE DAYS! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

Game Week

It's finally here. After 40 weeks of endless waiting, game week is upon us. That means three more days until the first tailgaters show up. Four days until the first college football game of the year. Five days until the party gets started. Saturday is THIS close. I can smell it. I can feel it in the air. Six days until the boys in blue take the field again. Get pumped up.



War Damn Eagle

The General

The leader of this team has been chosen. There really isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. I was suprised by this move, but my faith is with the coaches, and Todd. As Grotus' Acorn points out, if Tubbs, Franklin, Leach, and the honorable Arthur Gustav Malzahn III have all seen the healthy Chris Todd and come to the same conclusion ("OMG i wanna have his babies!") then who am I to question this? Someone who's knowledge of college football is apparently not worth several million dollars, that's who.

So, in conclusion, WAR DAMN CHRIS TODD!

Also, Kodi Burns is the man. That is all.

An Open Letter to Kirk Herbstreit

Dear Kirk,

I don't like you very much. It might be your smarmy attitude. Or your endless Ohio St. homerism. I'm not really sure. It's not a real hate or anything sinister like that. Just a general feeling of dislike. It may not even be your fault. It might be something you can't control. Maybe it's your face. I really can't say why, but whenever I see you, I really want to punch you right in your mouth.


That being said, I watched College Football Live today to see if our first day of practice would be mentioned, and guess who shows up? That's right, you. Once I put my TV back up on its stand (from kicking it off when you came on, of course) I decided I'd show some maturity and watch anyway. Sure enough, after a few minutes there was a segment on new head football coach Gene Chizik. In this segment, you (or whoever your boss is) decided to run that now infamous clip of the "Auburn fan" heckling Jay Jacobs when he landed in Auburn. Unfortunately, during the time when the events shown on College Football Live today took place, my blog was not up and running, so I could not express my opinion on the matter in a public forum. I decided that now is as good a time as any to write this open letter to you and make my opinion known.

Now, having said that I do not like you much, I must take this opportunity to say that I agreed with your sentiments on the show this afternoon (it's not unprecedented, you do say rational things from time to time, and are generally professional, so, uh, kudos). You said that this "fan" should be embarrassed, and I wholeheartedly agree. Kirk, I have been an Auburn fan since before I was born. I attended my first Auburn football game when I was half a year old. I am a third generation Auburn student and have been surrounded by Auburn people my whole life. Let me say now that whoever made that video and put it on the internet (which really just made him look foolish, not Jay Jacobs) is NOT an Auburn man. Auburn people may not have thought Coach Chizik the best choice at the time, but regardless, we made the decision as true Auburn people to get behind our coach, because that's what Auburn is about*.

Kirk, shortly after that video was made, there was a similar one filmed in the very same place. However, this one had a few subtle differences that I would like to point out. First of all, instead of one person shouting at the arriving plane, there were many (let me also point out that they were sober). The other difference is that these were Auburn people, not whatever that other sorry excuse for a fan is. The result was a much different video that, for whatever reason Kirk, you did not show on your show today.




So Kirk, the next time you show your face (dang, I just wanna deliver one of these right to your suck hole) and mention this particular occurrence, please be sure to mention that the overwhelming majority of Auburn people are like those who showed up in the video posted here, not the one you showed on ESPN. Because compared to these people, the clown that came to heckle Jay Jacobs really is just insignificant.

Sincerely,

Chris in Section 25

*PS: If you want to know how we feel about choosing to support the Coach Chizik right about now, I think this generally sums up our feelings toward Chizik to this point.

PPS: Ohio State blows! Ha!

Seven Years of Drought

This is the image my mind always conjures when I hear "August".

And so we come to the longest month of the year. Football is so close. But so far away. So as the boys in blue open practice today, take heart in knowing that after this drought, there will be seven years of plenty.... or at least 14 weeks of plenty of college football.

Hang in there, Auburn! Four and a half weeks!

Imaginary Interview: Antonio Coleman

"The power! I feel the power!"

SECTION 25: Welcome to another installment of Section 25's series of interviews; informative, fascinating, interesting, fictional, non-existent, imaginary interviews.

Today, we have the pleasure of meeting with Auburn's Senior DE Antonio Coleman. Antonio is second-team pre-season All-SEC, and a noted scholar in areas that are generally reserved for totalitarian dictators. Hi Antonio, good to have you with us today.

ANTONIO COLEMAN: Good evening.

S25: I know you've got a lot on your plate, so we won't take too long. I know you've got to be in Birmingham at SEC Media Days soon. Are you excited about going?

AC: Excited? No. I do not permit myself to become excited. Such emotions jeopardize my abilities to make the cold, calculated decisions that are necessary to destroy my enemies.

S25: Wow, you really do take your job seriously. But I could swear I've seen you celebrating and displaying emotion on the field. How do you explain this:

AC: Chris! Your naivety amuses me. That so-called "emotion" was nothing more than a calculated display of bravado. It is merely a gesture to make known the extent of my abilities. To remind my enemies that I will be victorious. This instills a certain fear into their hearts which is beneficial to my ends.

S25: OK. Is it just me or did some of the happiness just leave the room? Anyway, Auburn is preparing to play against one of the tougher schedules in the nation. Being a senior, you've seen a lot of the tougher venues this conference has to offer. How are you preparing to deal with some of the more intense environments in college football including Neyland, Sanford, and Tiger Stadium?

AC: I have no fear of playing on my enemies' grounds. Allow me to illustrate. Few people know the true reason Auburn did not attend a bowl game this past year. I had become bored with football and sought new enemies. Therefore I decided that I must test my mettle against a new foe, but with a bowl on the schedule, I had not the time. Thus, through cunning means, I arranged the self-destruction of the football team. I then single-handedly started, fought, and won a ground war in Russia... in January.

So no, I do not fear these battlegrounds. In fact, "Death Valley" seems a pleasant place for a vacation. I must look into it.

S25: Well, I certainly feel much better about the outcome of last season now, although I would have thought I'd have heard something about that Russia thing in the news. When we spoke to Mario, he said he really liked playing for the new coaching staff. He seems to have taken the transition very well. How have you handled the transition, and do you enjoy playing under Coach Chizik?

AC: I am disappointed in you, Chris. I would have thought you had learned by now that not only have I handled this transition well, I also, shall we say, helped Mr. Jacobs along in his decision. You are not a quick learner. Perhaps I am treating you too softly and should teach you with a firmer hand in the future?

S25: Uh, no no. Of course not. So you do like Coach Chizik then?

AC: Coach Chizik has proven to be useful to me. But surely by now you've guessed my plan! Surely the genius of it is obvious to you! Coach Chizik will be around long enough to ensure that I am in the right position. And then, when the time is right, his position shall be MINE! BWAHAHAHA!

S25: Well, there you have it, folks! Antonio Coleman's quest for power knows no bounds. It appears he will not stop until he has the Auburn Football team under his command. If that ever happens, God help us. God help us all.

Join us next time for a joint interview with Kodi Burns and Neil Caudle.

Imaginary Interview: Mario Fannin

As we've passed the halfway point of summer classes, the attention of my fellow students and I turns toward the approaching football season. With August and fall practice approaching, many of my fellow blAUgers have taken to previewing the season and the team in many ways; game previews, incoming player profiles, etc... We here in Section 25 have decided to use our unique position to provide you, our faithful reader with something you can't find anywhere else; exclusive, personal interviews with coaches and players. Not only will these interviews be informative, interesting, and exclusive, but they will also be complete figments of our imaginations. So without further ado, here is the first in a series of Imaginary Interviews.

SECTION 25: Hi, and welcome to the first Imaginary Interview. Please, introduce yourself to our audience.

MARIO FANNIN: It's-a me! Mario!!

S25: Haha! Classic, classic. We knew you were a great football player, but I had no idea you had such a great sense of humor.

MF: Ho ho!

S25: Fantastic. So tell us Mario, how has your summer been?

MF: It's-a been-a good. We've-a been spendin a lotta time in-a the weight room. I feel like-a its-a been really productive.

S25: Umm, right. So tell us some about your workout routine. I expect it's a grueling schedule.

MF: It can-a be difficult. I like-a to run in-a the morning. I get outta my apartament, and I like-a to run on-a campus through the "Chilled-a Water Plant" on-a Duncan Drive. You know, right-a by the stadium!

S25: Wait, is that the one with all those big green pipes inside?

MF: Yes! You see, what I like-a to do is...

S25: Ok, I think I see where this is going. Moving on. Tell us what you think of new RB coach Curtis Luper.

MF: I really like-a him. He knows-a how to explain things to me. Like-a for example, he-a tells me to picture a giant-a turtle-like creature who has kidnapped-a my girlfriend standing in-a the endzone, and that-a really helps me to visualize-a my goal.

S25: Ok, Mario, you realize that just because your name is Mario doesn't make you the video game character, right? You're not even Italian.

MF: A-beep a de bop a de!

S25: What does that even mean?





MF: Oh look-a outta the window! A mushroom!

S25: Huh?

MF: [running out the door, presumably after a mushroom] I'm-a comin-a Peach!

S25: Well... uh... that was certainly an interesting first installment of Imaginary Interviews. Join us next time when our guest will be Defensive End Antonio Coleman.

Something Interesting... AND Football Relevant!

So I've stumbled across some interesting information. I was at home for Dad's day the other weekend and in some down time I picked up one of our books regarding the 2004 football season. It took every game, includes a couple of articles from Inside the Auburn Tigers Magazine, and a number of pictures. It also included stats from every game. After about halfway through the season, I realized a surprising trend. Now it may be old news to some, or unsurprising to others, but here is what I discovered.



LA. MONROE:

Rushing Yards: 194

Passing Yards: 186



MISSISSIPPI STATE:

Rushing Yards: 283

Passing Yards: 182



LSU:

Rushing Yards: 131

Passing Yards: 170



CITADEL:

Rushing Yards: 234

Passing Yards: 359



TENNESSEE:

Rushing Yards: 107

Passing Yards: 186



LA. TECH:

Rushing Yards: 198

Passing Yards: 274

ARKANSAS:

Rushing Yards:225

Passing Yards: 297

KENTUCKY:

Rushing Yards: 210

Passing Yards: 127

OLE MISS:

Rushing Yards: 205

Passing Yards: 234

GEORGIA:

Rushing Yards: 186

Passing Yards: 218

ALABAMA:

Rushing Yards: 74

Passing Yards: 224

TENNESSEE (SEC Championship Game):

Rushing Yards: 185

Passing Yards: 374

VA. TECH:

Rushing Yards: 110

Passing Yards: 189

SEASON TOTALS:

Rushing Yards: 2342

Passing Yards: 3020

I was really surprised to see how often we passed for more yards than we rushed. For whatever reason I remember the thunder and lightning combo of Brown and Cadillac more than I do Campbell's passing.

We talk a lot around here about the running game, and how Auburn isn't Auburn without a running game, and I certainly agree. I've always been a traditional, conservative type of guy with a three yards and a cloud of dust mentality. Heck, even playing NCAA on the Xbox machine I have to run the ball. People get annoyed that I can't rear back and heave the ball even in a video game, but in my mind, it's just not right. But this just goes to show that no matter how good your running game is, in this day and age, there is NO substitute for a talented, experienced quarterback who can throw the ball; cool under pressure, a decision maker. And Auburn is no exception.

We can, and I believe should build our offense around the running game. But the quarterback will make or break this team.

Back on the Plains

So I've been out of the loop and off the radar for about a week now. I've been in New York City for the first time for the past week or so. I've got to get reacquainted with what all's going on around here and then I'll post something really thought provoking and deep... or totally lame. I blog, you decide.

In the meantime, enjoy these pics of the city.

Numbers of the Day

Today's post on "Somewhere in Section 25" is brought to you by the numbers:

2: The number of Auburn's ranking in US News and World Report's ranking of the best cities to live in in the US. To tell the truth, I think we got jipped. Albuquerque? I've never really heard anything good about New Mexico, except that there's some mediocre skiing. As far as I knew the only thing of real importance that's happened in Albuquerque was that Bugs Bunny took a wrong turn there once or twice. Of course, that is an admittedly bold statement coming from someone in Alabama. And I never have been to Albuquerque, so my opinion isn't really that informed. Nonetheless, I happen to be of the totally unbiased opinion that Auburn is the greatest place in the world. Congrats to whomever congrats need to go to for this fantastic piece of positive publicity for The Loveliest Village (City Counsel? Mayor? Regardless, great work!).

And

200: The number of students allegedly involved in Textbookgate, according to Kevin Scarbinsky. Now, while the talk around the AU campus throughout this whole deal has been "oh wow, that's a huge deal" I'd like to remind anyone thinking that this is the Albert Means case again that it's not. Of those 200, the vast vast majority of the people involved did not realize they were breaking a rule, and of all the athletes involved, there are less football players involved than any other Bammer sports program. Not to mention the fact that a couple of textbooks probably aren't going to sway the minds of recruits as Bammer points out in their letter to the NCAA ("minimal if any competitive advantage"). I don't know of any recruit that's going to say, "Alright! If I go to Bama, I could make a few extra bucks on my books every semester," especially if the Escalade didn't convince them to go (ZING!).

That being said: TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE! WTF, BAMA? For a program that was supposed to be on lockdown--and I mean LOCKDOWN--that's a definite "Lack of Institutional Control" if I've ever heard it. The nature of the offense itself really wasn't that bad, but the fact that it was so widespread sure is, especially for an athletics program that's still on the probation period.

It was my belief that if Dad catches you with your hand in the cookie jar and whups you, you don't turn around and go back to the cookie jar two hundred more times. At least not while Dad is still standing in the kitchen, watching that jar of cookies right after he caught you.

That just seems a little thick. The smoke never really had cleared from the whole Albert Means thing, but it seems like the Bammer Administration just kinda let the whole textbook thing go. I'm just at a loss at the whole thing. Oh well, their pain is my entertainment.

Related To: Nothing

Just plain funny. I couldn't decide how to caption this. So I'm gonna go a few directions with it. All at the same time. Freak your mind.

Pooh Fail

"Hm, I guess the Bahr really wasn't a genius"

Bear Cub=Auburn ; Feeder=Tony Franklin

I like that last one. Despite all the pain that feeder caused us, we still haven't gotten it off our head.

I really am pleased with myself for that one. I'm treating myself to some Mama G's.

Full bear cub story for the incurably curious hyeah.

Prayers for Coach Quick

I found this on Beaver's blog this morning, and thought I'd pass it along. For those of you who don't know, Coach Richard Quick of the Auburn swim team was diagnosed at the end of last year with an inoperable brain tumor. This was released by Coach Quick's family yesterday:

We ask for your prayers of peace, comfort and safety. We are preparing to
take Richard home to Austin. He has yet to respond to treatment. We will leave
by ambulance Friday or Saturday and take him to Querencia, a skilled nursing
facility in Austin since he can't take his medicines orally anymore. We have
heavy hearts and rely on thr Lord to carry us on this part of our journey. May
we all find the peace that goes beyond understanding. "Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your
hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 May the Lord hear our cries
and fulfill the promise of John 14;27, Love June and Richard

Coach Quick coached at Auburn for the past two years, in addition to the four years he coached here from 1978-1982. He and Co-Head Coach Brett Hawke earned Coach of the Year honors this year after his Auburn team won him his record 13th National Championship.

Our prayers are with you, Coach. War Eagle.

Thoughts on Big Cat Weekend: For Reals

About the other day's post. When I read the quote about "Extreme Recruiting" I immediately thought of that Powerthirst thing, and I got this mental image in my head of Gene Chizik screaming at recruits in order to be more "extreme". So my apology for leaning on the all caps button and the exclamation points, but it was amusing, at least for myself.

But I digresserize. You all know my thoughts on recruiting hype, especially at this time of the year. However, much like the Tiger Prowl, the story got too big on these internets to ignore, especially at this time of the year. So I'm going to try and comment on it focusing on the staff side of things. I don't really care which recruit said what (although the little "tell Nick Saban he SOL" thing was awesome). It's a long long loooong way to February, and at the moment, we don't have any of these guys coming out with a strong verbal. And even if we did, these are 17 year olds we're talking about here. Indecisiveness comes with the territory, not to mention the million other factors that can influence these guys from here 'till February.

As far as the staff goes, I am excited. This staff is taking the recruiting gap very seriously, and that is certainly step one for any new coaching staff. Not to mention the fact that they are looking at it from a different angle. The Tiger Prowl and Big Cat Weekend are two things the likes of which have never happened here on the plains. Without a doubt it's more flashy and in-your-face (EXTREME!!) than anything else we've done here during the off-season. And so far* it seems to be working. There is more talk about Auburn recruiting since.... well since as long as I can remember.

I know that at least one time this year you've pictured Tubs & Co. getting in a piAUmped out limo and cruising the state and laughed. Possibly out loud. I have. In the middle of class. It was embarrassing.

Tubs & Co. were set on going out and getting guys who they said fit the Auburn mold which is, in theory, perfectly ok. However, as Jerry points out their best players were all big name recruits, and Auburn played its best football when we had a number of experienced big name recruits (i.e. Carnell, Campbell, Aromashadu, Obamanu). I feel like this staff is dedicated to getting their man just as much as the last one. This staff's vision of the Auburn mold just includes the types of guys that are high up on the rankings.

The point I'm getting at here is, Chizik and his staff of super recruiters are not going about the off-season the way Tubs' staff did, they're trying to make as much noise in the recruiting world as possible. And that's everything we've asked of them. That's what they were hired for. Chizik didn't hire this staff to go out and recruit a bunch of three-stars and hope to turn them into great players. You put together this group of coaches to go out and get the cream of the talent crop, which is something we haven't made an important goal in a while--perhaps too long.

And that's what this whole post boils down to. This is an off-season mid-term grade for Chizik and his staff. In my eyes they get an A++++ (a-la "A Christmas Story"). They salvaged a great class after the post-season coaching/bad publicity debacle. They were quiet when they needed to be quiet, and they've made noise in a great way. However, coaches, as I'm sure you all read SIS25 regularly, be careful! We still have three months before the off-season ends, and nearly nine months until signing day, which leaves you with plenty of time to screw it up if you don't stay on top of things. Now I've heard some good things about plans for the rest of the summer (see end of post) and you need to capitalize on that to keep this momentum going.

More importantly, coaches, please note that this off-season grade only accounts for 5% of your grade. The other 95% comes this fall, with a good portion of that consisting of the final exams in November. Don't ever forget it.

*I cannot stress the importance of the phrase "so far" enough.

EXTREME RECRUITING!!!

Hey, recruit! Are you sick of boring recruiting?! Fed up with the same shirt-ripping, tunnel running BULLCRAP!?! Are Dodge Chargers just not a punch in your face anymore!?! Try EXTREME RECRUITING!!! That's right!! From the makers of "Tiger Prowl" comes all new EXTREME RECRUITING!!! This isn't your father's recruiting! This recruiting is a kick straight to your nads! It'll psyche you up! You'll be so psyched up, Nick Saban'll be like "slooow down" and you'll be like "F--- YOU! YOU'RE SOL!!" and kick him in the face with your five-star legs!!!


[Warning; 1 instance of language]

If you hate dressing up in those uncomfortable clothes, come dressed in a T-SHIRT and FLIP FLOPS!!! Bored with shaking hands with up-tight coaches!?! Try out Trooper Taylor's EXTREME CHEST-BUMP!!!

TROOPER TAYLOR!!!

Take a ride around the state in our EXTREME STRETCH LIMO!! It'll make your free Escalade look like a Ford Focus!! (NOT EXTREME!)

This new recruiting is SICK!! It's so SICK that they'll need to make a vaccine for it!! EXTREME RECRUITING is what you need to satisfy your thrill/college-seeking needs!! So don't be a TOTAL WUSS! Try EXTREME RECRUITING now!!!

Disclaimer: EXTREME RECRUITING is not liable for broken ribcages, increased hype, or secondary recruiting violations.

To all Auburn Students

Just a heads up to any Auburn student reading. If there is any possible way to arrange it, take summer classes. My daily schedule looks something like this: sleep, tennis, sleep, class, sleep, 15 minutes of homework, pool, dinner, bar, sleep.

NOTE: Sleep may sometimes mean TV, Call of Duty, golf, or trips to see the Braves play.

Soapbox: Finebaum Comes out of the Closet

BREAKING NEWS!! Paul Finebaum is a Bammer!

Right, I know, what's new? Any self-respecting Auburn fan who lives in the Birmingham area knows Paul Finebaum is a closet Bammer. Heck, most Alabama fans around here will admit, at the very least, that he caters to his listening audience, which is predominantly made up of Bama fans. None of this is news (as demonstrated by my ironic use above of the phrase "breaking news"; clever, huh?) and on any other day, this information would bounce off of me like it normally does.

But yesterday, I saw this piece of information. "Featuring Alabama's Anthony Grant and Paul Finebaum"? I am truly offended by this. I have come to accept the fact that the man is not totally unbiased, and that he will never really give Auburn their due, and that's fine with me. As an Auburn fan, I could care less what Finebaum thinks about the Tigers.

But this doesn't offend me as an Auburn fan. This offends me as an amateur journalist. Allow me to list the perks of being an amateur journalist, especially of the sports variety:

1. Porr grammer and speling is been alowed.
2. Girls dig guys with Auburn football blogs.
3. Real research is optional, and can be replaced by Wikipedia when convenient.
4. You can openly be a grossly biased fan of the team you cover, represent them in an official or unofficial capacity, and not be held accountable, because who cares? I'm just some idiot amateur with a blog.

And here are the drawbacks of being an amateur journalist:

1. No pay.
2. I may have lied about the thing with the girls.

Finebaum is cheating the system. If he claims to be a real journalist, and with a spot on Fox 6  as well as a column for the Mobile Press-Register I'm assuming he does, then he should act like one and not take sides on the biggest sports issue in the state, Auburn vs. Alabama. Until he does that, I think Fox and the Press-Register would be wise to drop him, or start paying me to publish my "unbiased opinion" for their respective organizations. I think I could do that.

My Nightly News Piece on Fox 6? You know where to reach me, Karle.

So it has now become clear that Finebaum is an out-of-the-closet Bammer. Henceforth, I shall no longer regard any Finebaum work as Journalism, and instead call it entertainment. There has always been a place where the lowest common denominator can come and fight with each other for our amusement. In the '90's it was Springer, today, it's Finebaum.

And that's what really grinds my gears. [Steps off soapbox]

NOTE: Aside from that, best of luck to both the Auburn crew of Chizik-Bo Jackson, and the Bammer team of Grant-Finebaum. As much as I hate Bammer/ disrespect Finebaum, that's a good cause, and you can't hate on that.

Ghost Ride the Prowl

So lately, this has been all the rage:

"Get out the way, let Trooper Drive! Ghost ride, go crazy, who's that driving? DL Coach, Tracy!"

Initially, my reaction was simply to laugh. This has got to be the biggest offseason publicity stunt an Auburn coaching staff has ever put together. But then it gathered a little momentum and I began taking it a little more seriously. After all, isn't recruiting just one big publicity stunt? Everyone's stepping up their recruiting game. At Tennessee they're ripping their shirts off, Bammer's (allegedly) giving out Dodge Chargers; we've got to do something to keep up, right? And apparently, it's paying off. The so-called "Tiger Prowl" has gotten everyone's attention. The state's talking all about the Prowl and seem to have forgotten about any other team, at least for the moment. Even the Bammerham news media is all over this. So hey I'm all for it. The target of the Prowl is the big name recruit who idolizes the NFL life of flashy expensive things like this, so whatever Chiz and co. have to do to attract that, they have my full support. The world of recruiting is a mad world, so I suppose we're gonna have to do something a little weird if we're a part of it.

All this stuff about the Tiger Prowl got me thinking about recruiting in general. It is now May 2009, and we've already put a bunch of 17 year-olds all over the headlines of recruiting services and news media all over the country--17 year-olds that aren't even graduating high school for another year, and won't be on a college roster until August 2010. Names like Lache Seastrunk, Marcus Lattimore, and Michael Dyer are already household names, especially among houses of the Auburn Family. I know this because I was recently lambasted by a few friends for not knowing some of these names. That's right, I was blasted for not knowing all about some 17 year-old kid because I haven't researched him enough on this here interweb.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't following high school juniors around online normally put you on Chris Hansen's short list?

"Hello Rivals subscriber, why don't you have a seat over there?"

And signing up to pay someone to help you stalk these kids? That's got to be several kinds of illegal.

OK, maybe that's harsh, but all statutory jokes aside, you get what I'm saying. These guys aren't going to set foot in a college classroom for another two years, and already they're the next Carnell. Forget the fact that all those incredible videos you see of them are against severely over matched high schoolers, most of whom will most likely never play another snap of football after they graduate, these guys are stars!

In case you haven't noticed, I don't take much stock in the whole recruiting business. Not necessarily the recruiting, but more the grand publicity stunt that recruiting has become. It's not that I don't think recruiting itself is a very important thing. These kids are the future of Auburn football. But until they sign, give them a break. The only people that need to be that concerned about it are Gene Chizik and his coaching staff of super recruiters. I never pay attention to recruiting until February rolls around. Then I'll review the lists and read some of the endless commentary on the things. But I'm not about to let recruiting buzz rule my opinion about the football team. If you ask me, us getting all excited that Seastrunk had a "great visit" is as ridiculous as the Bammers claiming a national championship in recruiting. It's just laughable. Recruiting isn't a sport, so I won't follow it like one.

So best of luck to the Auburn coaching staff and the Tiger Prowl. I hope they get all the stars they want. But until next February, don't ask me my opinion on it, because it will not be informed. Frankly, no one's opinion will really be that informed until two or three years from now when these guys actually see some playing time.

Weak Sauce and Greatness

Alright, I'll admit it, I'm a horrible person. Didn't even get to the top three in our countdown, which is totally weak sauce. My apologies to our mass of faithful followers. But, be comforted, because I will have an A-Day recap for you soon, and it will absolutely mention the top three things, so enjoy that cop-out on our part.

In the meantime: this may be the greatest Auburn-related thing since the 2004 football season.

The Auburner--pure genius.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #4: Offense

Ok, it's time to get serious. Anyone who watches college football knows about our offensive woes the past few years. We can't seem to get anything going. Period. And it affects the defensive performance as well. Our defense is spectacular, but they can only score so many points a game. We need offense. Desperately.

Coach Chizik knows this. And he has already taken the necessary steps to help fix this problem, the most important being... Gus Malzahn.





This offense is exciting. It's all the rage. For crying out loud, it even got Arkansas into the SEC Championship game. It made Tulsa look like a darn good football team as well. If anybody watched the world famous GMAC Bowl, you know what I'm talking about. With this new system, we can be sure of improvement over last year's horrible disaster we called an offense. At the very least, this new offense will be very exciting to see in this early stage of its developement.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare this weekend, and you just might see something we haven't seen around here since 2005: a competent Auburn offense.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #5: Defense!

Even through the rough years of 2007 and 2008, one aspect of our game either showed flashes of brilliance, and at times, was brilliant. Frankly, it's been brilliant for the last 5 years. Defense. It's what we take pride in here in the SEC. It's what separates us from the animals. It's what distinguishes us from the barbarians. BRILLIANT!

Auburn has great defense. That's just what we do. But put Chizik in the drivers seat, and you can bet the defense is going to look good.

Everyone knows Coach Chizik has caught a lot of flack for his head coaching job thus far (even if it was at perennial powerhouse Iowa State). But there is no denying that the man can coach some freaking defense. The highlight of his career is, of course, the 2004-2005 seasons in which he won 26 consecutive games as Auburn and Texas's DC.

I personally subscribe to the theory that, as in Tubbs' regime, the position of Defensive Coordinator is just a title. A puppet position for yes men to do the bidding of defensive geniuses.* So it's a given that this defense is going to be good.

Now I could give you all sorts of stats and numbers and other such witchcraft to support this theory that our defense is incredible, but I'm just not that smart....... or a witch (because I'm heavier than a duck). Suffice to say, Auburn's defense is the bee's knees. I mean you saw what they did to that finely tuned Gus Malzahn offense on Saturday.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare on Saturday, and watch our always powerful defense rock worlds!

*Yes, I realize the irony that, under this logic, Chizik was a yes man. But it's my argument dangit, and I'm sticking to it. Maybe it doesn't make sense. But it doesn't have to, I'm beautiful! ($1 Family Guy).

NOTE: Congrats to Brent on finally getting into the blogging world. Our little girl is growing up! We went from training wheels to training bras, and they both came off too fast, didn't they?

Top 10 Reasons to come to A-Day. #6: Easing the Pain of Iron Bowl News

Hello world, as our loyal massive following knows by now, this is my first post. For two months I sat on my thumbs and all but ignored the fact that my name was on the internet as "writer" without anything to show for it. Realizing how much I was missing out on (cough cough shout out from Joe Cribb's Car Wash cough cough) I remembered how no one cared what I have to say and yet I still demand to attempt to be heard. So without further ado, REASON #6 TO GO TO A-DAY!

So earlier this week, al.com dropped an A-bomb on me courtesy of the SEC and everyone's favorite CBS. I'm sure all of you have heard by now (and if you're reading this blog I'm pretty sure you're digging pretty deep in the Auburn blogs anyway, so this shouldn't be news to any of you) but after they moved the Iron Bowl to the weekend of Thanksgiving last year, now they're moving it even earlier. It's not even the fact that they moved the game earlier but that now, the Iron Bowl must be played on a Friday. In all my Auburn fandom, which remember is not very long compared to most, I can not remember when the Iron Bowl was not on a Saturday. In fact, my sources say that it has been more than 20 years since the last time this happened (keep in mind my sources are the other author for IS25 so if we are wrong, feel free to correct us and make us feel stupid). Enough complaining, because blogs never include whiny moments of why my life is cruddy right now....wait


Al.com is playing the part of the bomb while the test houses represent my world. I know, sad right?

But, much like the hiring of Auburn's new coaching staff, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A-Day is coming to cure our new Iron Bowl schedule woes. For a brief weekend, we get to forget about the business side of college football, forget about the legalism of rating achievements and money hungry push for endorsements. For one glorious Saturday, we get to remember how beautiful 300 pound men can be (see inset for illustration of beauty). We get to marvel in the pureness of competition, to see how hard work truly pays off and can influence the depth chart. A-Day gives us a chance in the spring to feel at home again in Jordan and Hare's house on Pat Dye's yard with a lot of extended family members like one big family reunion when you don't really know any one there except maybe up to your second cousins, but you're all still connected. Only Auburn's family is connected with something thicker than blood, the common liking of a football team and overall athletics program.

So while they may try to ruin our celebration of all that is good with our program by lame scheduling hiccups, we will persevere. We won't let CBS cast a cloud of disappointment because seeing our players in a first string vs. second string showdown will lift our spirits over the clouds like the guy who tied a bunch of balloons to his lawn chair. Sorry CBS, next time bring a bigger BB gun.

By the way, Youtube makes writing posts a much longer and harder process. Interesting thing you learn about this blogger, he has ADD.

So come out to Jordan Hare on Saturday so we can all build each other up to get over this tragedy together and get lost in the awesomeness that is Auburn football. And if A-Day does not bring you out of the depression of the Iron Bowl being moved to Friday for the next two years (first I question what kind of fan you are), maybe this will.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #7: Quarterbacks

I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing. "Please! No more quarterback controversy! We've had enough!" But hey, chill out! I fully believe that unlike the last staff, this one will do good on it's promise to name one starting quarterback. Mainly because I think this one has learned from the last one's mistakes. CGC (Coach Gene Chizik for those of you who don't know the language of the football internets) has thus far made every effort to make smart decisions that sit well with the Auburn fanbase. And I will go out on a limb and say that through assembling a coaching staff and the solid job he did on signing day, he's accomplished that. I expect to see his administration do everything in its power to avoid an ugly, extended quarterback race.

So now that we've established that the quarterback situation will meet a happy resolution (if you feel like I do) then here are the facts as they stand today. Auburn has three quarterbacks in serious contention this spring. Kodi Burns, Barrett Trotter, and Neil Caudle. Todd is still recovering from shoulder surgery in December. After today's scrimmage, that number is possibly down to two, although which two is up for debate.

The Bad News: Each of these three quarterbacks has their downfalls. Neil has a discouraging tendency to throw to players wearing the wrong color jersey. Kodi is inconsistent all around throwing, and when faced with a powerhouse defense, which you tend to find a lot in our league, he can crumble*. Barrett; well I guess his biggest problem is that I really haven't seen him enough to say what his problem is**.

The Good News: Each of these three quarterbacks is talented. Scary talented. All of them were highly touted coming out of high school. And all of them have shown moments of genius. All they have to do is iron out these inconsistencies-an minor mental error here, an errant throw there-and you have three incredible football players on your hands. Under the tutelage of the honorable Arthur Gustave Malzahn III, when someone finally distinguishes themselves from the pack, he could have the makings of a really great quarterback.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare in a week, and see one of these talented guys step up to the challenge and take the reigns of this Auburn offense!

*  I won't mention the Iron Bowl. I won't. Promise.

**I know, I know. I'm an embarrassment to the BlAUging community. But hey, you knew what you were in for when you clicked over here. "Totally biased amateurs". Just look over to your right. It says so right there. Get off my back.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #8: It's Better than a Wedding Shower

I have a certain friend, and I love that friend to death. I really do. He's a great guy, and we've been friends since middle school. I also like his fiancee. She and her family have been friends of my family for as long as I can remember. She's a sweetheart and she makes him happy. But for crying out loud, they grew up in Birmingham. BIRMINGHAM! She is an Auburn graduate. He will soon be graduating from that other school (but we always keep that in our prayers). You would think they know the rules of decent society in our lovely state of Alabama.

So you can imagine my surprise when, a couple of weeks ago, I get an invitation to a wedding shower on SATURDAY, APRIL FREAKING 18TH!! Of course, my initial reaction was, "Ha! Trash can." But upon further consideration, it occurred to me that my mother would be intensely disappointed that I missed this shower. She made it abundantly clear to me that I had the choice to skip it if I wanted to, but she would be very disappointed......

How is that a choice? I don't know any man that can say no to his mother when presented with that option, and frankly, I wouldn't want to meet that man.  It was obvious that I was going to have to miss the most important A-Day game in years to go to a wedding shower.

But Hark! How the sweet relief of epiphany doth descend upon my brow! Mine eyes hath gazed upon the print of the invitation, and their quest for a loophole doth come to fruition! For the shower starts at 7:00 giving me ample time to see the game and run back to Birmingham.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare next Saturday, because it's darn sure better than going to a wedding shower!