Hey, recruit! Are you sick of boring recruiting?! Fed up with the same shirt-ripping, tunnel running BULLCRAP!?! Are Dodge Chargers just not a punch in your face anymore!?! Try EXTREME RECRUITING!!! That's right!! From the makers of "Tiger Prowl" comes all new EXTREME RECRUITING!!! This isn't your father's recruiting! This recruiting is a kick straight to your nads! It'll psyche you up! You'll be so psyched up, Nick Saban'll be like "slooow down" and you'll be like "F--- YOU! YOU'RE SOL!!" and kick him in the face with your five-star legs!!!
[Warning; 1 instance of language]
If you hate dressing up in those uncomfortable clothes, come dressed in a T-SHIRT and FLIP FLOPS!!! Bored with shaking hands with up-tight coaches!?! Try out Trooper Taylor's EXTREME CHEST-BUMP!!!
TROOPER TAYLOR!!!
Take a ride around the state in our EXTREME STRETCH LIMO!! It'll make your free Escalade look like a Ford Focus!! (NOT EXTREME!)
This new recruiting is SICK!! It's so SICK that they'll need to make a vaccine for it!! EXTREME RECRUITING is what you need to satisfy your thrill/college-seeking needs!! So don't be a TOTAL WUSS! Try EXTREME RECRUITING now!!!
Disclaimer: EXTREME RECRUITING is not liable for broken ribcages, increased hype, or secondary recruiting violations.
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