Weak Sauce and Greatness

Alright, I'll admit it, I'm a horrible person. Didn't even get to the top three in our countdown, which is totally weak sauce. My apologies to our mass of faithful followers. But, be comforted, because I will have an A-Day recap for you soon, and it will absolutely mention the top three things, so enjoy that cop-out on our part.

In the meantime: this may be the greatest Auburn-related thing since the 2004 football season.

The Auburner--pure genius.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #4: Offense

Ok, it's time to get serious. Anyone who watches college football knows about our offensive woes the past few years. We can't seem to get anything going. Period. And it affects the defensive performance as well. Our defense is spectacular, but they can only score so many points a game. We need offense. Desperately.

Coach Chizik knows this. And he has already taken the necessary steps to help fix this problem, the most important being... Gus Malzahn.





This offense is exciting. It's all the rage. For crying out loud, it even got Arkansas into the SEC Championship game. It made Tulsa look like a darn good football team as well. If anybody watched the world famous GMAC Bowl, you know what I'm talking about. With this new system, we can be sure of improvement over last year's horrible disaster we called an offense. At the very least, this new offense will be very exciting to see in this early stage of its developement.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare this weekend, and you just might see something we haven't seen around here since 2005: a competent Auburn offense.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #5: Defense!

Even through the rough years of 2007 and 2008, one aspect of our game either showed flashes of brilliance, and at times, was brilliant. Frankly, it's been brilliant for the last 5 years. Defense. It's what we take pride in here in the SEC. It's what separates us from the animals. It's what distinguishes us from the barbarians. BRILLIANT!

Auburn has great defense. That's just what we do. But put Chizik in the drivers seat, and you can bet the defense is going to look good.

Everyone knows Coach Chizik has caught a lot of flack for his head coaching job thus far (even if it was at perennial powerhouse Iowa State). But there is no denying that the man can coach some freaking defense. The highlight of his career is, of course, the 2004-2005 seasons in which he won 26 consecutive games as Auburn and Texas's DC.

I personally subscribe to the theory that, as in Tubbs' regime, the position of Defensive Coordinator is just a title. A puppet position for yes men to do the bidding of defensive geniuses.* So it's a given that this defense is going to be good.

Now I could give you all sorts of stats and numbers and other such witchcraft to support this theory that our defense is incredible, but I'm just not that smart....... or a witch (because I'm heavier than a duck). Suffice to say, Auburn's defense is the bee's knees. I mean you saw what they did to that finely tuned Gus Malzahn offense on Saturday.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare on Saturday, and watch our always powerful defense rock worlds!

*Yes, I realize the irony that, under this logic, Chizik was a yes man. But it's my argument dangit, and I'm sticking to it. Maybe it doesn't make sense. But it doesn't have to, I'm beautiful! ($1 Family Guy).

NOTE: Congrats to Brent on finally getting into the blogging world. Our little girl is growing up! We went from training wheels to training bras, and they both came off too fast, didn't they?

Top 10 Reasons to come to A-Day. #6: Easing the Pain of Iron Bowl News

Hello world, as our loyal massive following knows by now, this is my first post. For two months I sat on my thumbs and all but ignored the fact that my name was on the internet as "writer" without anything to show for it. Realizing how much I was missing out on (cough cough shout out from Joe Cribb's Car Wash cough cough) I remembered how no one cared what I have to say and yet I still demand to attempt to be heard. So without further ado, REASON #6 TO GO TO A-DAY!

So earlier this week, al.com dropped an A-bomb on me courtesy of the SEC and everyone's favorite CBS. I'm sure all of you have heard by now (and if you're reading this blog I'm pretty sure you're digging pretty deep in the Auburn blogs anyway, so this shouldn't be news to any of you) but after they moved the Iron Bowl to the weekend of Thanksgiving last year, now they're moving it even earlier. It's not even the fact that they moved the game earlier but that now, the Iron Bowl must be played on a Friday. In all my Auburn fandom, which remember is not very long compared to most, I can not remember when the Iron Bowl was not on a Saturday. In fact, my sources say that it has been more than 20 years since the last time this happened (keep in mind my sources are the other author for IS25 so if we are wrong, feel free to correct us and make us feel stupid). Enough complaining, because blogs never include whiny moments of why my life is cruddy right now....wait


Al.com is playing the part of the bomb while the test houses represent my world. I know, sad right?

But, much like the hiring of Auburn's new coaching staff, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A-Day is coming to cure our new Iron Bowl schedule woes. For a brief weekend, we get to forget about the business side of college football, forget about the legalism of rating achievements and money hungry push for endorsements. For one glorious Saturday, we get to remember how beautiful 300 pound men can be (see inset for illustration of beauty). We get to marvel in the pureness of competition, to see how hard work truly pays off and can influence the depth chart. A-Day gives us a chance in the spring to feel at home again in Jordan and Hare's house on Pat Dye's yard with a lot of extended family members like one big family reunion when you don't really know any one there except maybe up to your second cousins, but you're all still connected. Only Auburn's family is connected with something thicker than blood, the common liking of a football team and overall athletics program.

So while they may try to ruin our celebration of all that is good with our program by lame scheduling hiccups, we will persevere. We won't let CBS cast a cloud of disappointment because seeing our players in a first string vs. second string showdown will lift our spirits over the clouds like the guy who tied a bunch of balloons to his lawn chair. Sorry CBS, next time bring a bigger BB gun.

By the way, Youtube makes writing posts a much longer and harder process. Interesting thing you learn about this blogger, he has ADD.

So come out to Jordan Hare on Saturday so we can all build each other up to get over this tragedy together and get lost in the awesomeness that is Auburn football. And if A-Day does not bring you out of the depression of the Iron Bowl being moved to Friday for the next two years (first I question what kind of fan you are), maybe this will.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #7: Quarterbacks

I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing. "Please! No more quarterback controversy! We've had enough!" But hey, chill out! I fully believe that unlike the last staff, this one will do good on it's promise to name one starting quarterback. Mainly because I think this one has learned from the last one's mistakes. CGC (Coach Gene Chizik for those of you who don't know the language of the football internets) has thus far made every effort to make smart decisions that sit well with the Auburn fanbase. And I will go out on a limb and say that through assembling a coaching staff and the solid job he did on signing day, he's accomplished that. I expect to see his administration do everything in its power to avoid an ugly, extended quarterback race.

So now that we've established that the quarterback situation will meet a happy resolution (if you feel like I do) then here are the facts as they stand today. Auburn has three quarterbacks in serious contention this spring. Kodi Burns, Barrett Trotter, and Neil Caudle. Todd is still recovering from shoulder surgery in December. After today's scrimmage, that number is possibly down to two, although which two is up for debate.

The Bad News: Each of these three quarterbacks has their downfalls. Neil has a discouraging tendency to throw to players wearing the wrong color jersey. Kodi is inconsistent all around throwing, and when faced with a powerhouse defense, which you tend to find a lot in our league, he can crumble*. Barrett; well I guess his biggest problem is that I really haven't seen him enough to say what his problem is**.

The Good News: Each of these three quarterbacks is talented. Scary talented. All of them were highly touted coming out of high school. And all of them have shown moments of genius. All they have to do is iron out these inconsistencies-an minor mental error here, an errant throw there-and you have three incredible football players on your hands. Under the tutelage of the honorable Arthur Gustave Malzahn III, when someone finally distinguishes themselves from the pack, he could have the makings of a really great quarterback.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare in a week, and see one of these talented guys step up to the challenge and take the reigns of this Auburn offense!

*  I won't mention the Iron Bowl. I won't. Promise.

**I know, I know. I'm an embarrassment to the BlAUging community. But hey, you knew what you were in for when you clicked over here. "Totally biased amateurs". Just look over to your right. It says so right there. Get off my back.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #8: It's Better than a Wedding Shower

I have a certain friend, and I love that friend to death. I really do. He's a great guy, and we've been friends since middle school. I also like his fiancee. She and her family have been friends of my family for as long as I can remember. She's a sweetheart and she makes him happy. But for crying out loud, they grew up in Birmingham. BIRMINGHAM! She is an Auburn graduate. He will soon be graduating from that other school (but we always keep that in our prayers). You would think they know the rules of decent society in our lovely state of Alabama.

So you can imagine my surprise when, a couple of weeks ago, I get an invitation to a wedding shower on SATURDAY, APRIL FREAKING 18TH!! Of course, my initial reaction was, "Ha! Trash can." But upon further consideration, it occurred to me that my mother would be intensely disappointed that I missed this shower. She made it abundantly clear to me that I had the choice to skip it if I wanted to, but she would be very disappointed......

How is that a choice? I don't know any man that can say no to his mother when presented with that option, and frankly, I wouldn't want to meet that man.  It was obvious that I was going to have to miss the most important A-Day game in years to go to a wedding shower.

But Hark! How the sweet relief of epiphany doth descend upon my brow! Mine eyes hath gazed upon the print of the invitation, and their quest for a loophole doth come to fruition! For the shower starts at 7:00 giving me ample time to see the game and run back to Birmingham.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare next Saturday, because it's darn sure better than going to a wedding shower!

News Flash!

Chris
Senior "Getting Stuff from Other News Sources" Editor
AUBURN - It was announced today that both the 2009 and 2010 Iron Bowls will be played on the Friday after Thanksgiving. A spokesperson for each of the schools said the following: "What?!"

I'm not really a big fan of this, although it will supposedly get more attention being on the CBS Friday game than the CBS or ESPN Saturday game. I just prefer the atmosphere on a Saturday better than a Friday. And now my pregame festivities are all out of whack. I'm going to have to drive back to Auburn from my family Thanksgiving right after the meal if I want to get back to town and Iron Bowl party the right way. I may not even get a nap! And that makes me angry. But maybe that's just me.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #9: Mario Fannin

Name the most exciting offensive player on last year's team. If you said this guy (==>), you're probably right. Now name the most versatile player for this year's Gus Malzahn spread offense. If you said this guy again(==>), you are probably right again. Mario is one of our top two running backs, a great option to go in as a reciever, and played QB in high school, so he's a huge threat anywhere on the field. Gustave himself said Mario is a prime candidate for the "QB/RB" position in the WildTiger/Eagle/Whatever formation. Don't say you're not excited about seeing that, because that will be incredible.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare on Saturday to see a preview of "Super Mario" and hopefully, this year's games will end up better than this awesome highlight video from The Auburner did.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #10: Jordan-Hare Stadium

Ok, so it probably won't look like this next Saturday, but it'll still be good to be back!

Jordan-Hare wasn't too much fun this past year. Sure, there was the La. Monroe game, a workman-like shutout, the too close for comfort Southern Miss win, the excruciatingly painful to watch Tennessee game, and the obligatory homecoming victory against Bizarro Auburn (UT Martin). I'll even admit that the Georgia game was the most fun I've ever had watching Auburn lose. But the fact is, the ugliest win is better than the prettiest loss, and four wins at home just doesn't cut it.

Good news! It's a brand new season! With a brand new coaching staff! Hope is restored, and is there any place in the world that stirs up a more hopeful feeling in your soul than Jordan-Hare Stadium? Of course not. Jordan-Hare Stadium is filled with more hopeyness than a hundred Obama campaign stops. It's the place top teams come to die. It's there that eventual national champs Florida fell in 2006. Where defending champs LSU were overcome on one last heroic drive in '04. Where Damon Duval hooked it in amidst swirling winds against top ranked Florida in '01. Where Bama threw a screen pass in '97, and LSU just threw too many passes in '94. Where Nix found Sanders, and Bostic raced to the end zone to seal a perfect season in '93. And it's the place where in 1989, after decades of fighting for it, we finally earned the opportunity to play Bama in our own back yard instead of theirs. Oh yeah, we beat that previously undefeated team that day, too.

So yeah, I'd say "there's a hopeful feeling there" is the main point I'm trying to make.

Personally, I haven't been to Jordan-Hare in the spring for several years. It's always a fun day, and for a few hours it feels like fall again. Finally, we get to do things that only happen in the fall, like pay $4 for a hot dog, or a Coke. Or get 3rd degree sunburns.... on one side of your body.

So come on out next Saturday and experience Jordan-Hare for one last time; before that dreaded five month dead period, that dreaded scourge we here in football-land give the name "Summer".

Relevant Information On the Way

You remember that relevant information I promised but never came through on? Well, we here in Section 25 are prepared to remedy that. We're giving you a daily countdown of the Top 10 reasons to come to A-Day, starting tomorrow. It'll be insightful and intelligent. We hope. Be here or be...

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