AWOL

Sorry about the long hiatus, fellow Tigers. Our brains are still on Spring Break. I'll have some posts relevant to the NIT and spring practice up soon. In the meantime, here's a cat flushing a toilet.

I promise, relevant stuff soon!

Crunch Time

As I write this, USC is beating MSU about midway through the first. Our opponent is officially set, UF (no surprises there). I'm fixing to leave the loveliest village for a week or so, probably as soon as I post this. Hopefully the team isn't checked out like I am. Because all the last month doesn't count for much if we can't win at least a couple, probably three, this weekend. At this point, every minute we play is crucial in getting us to the tournament. And we HAVE to make the tournament. After all this excitement, I don't think I can handle having to settle for the NIT; the junior prom of postseason basketball tournaments. I mean really, who wants to go to the jr prom? About as many people as shoot for the NIT, that's who.

The good news: win or lose, whenever this distraction we call "basketball" is over, we have less than two weeks until spring practice starts! So be looking for some good stuff coming from us.

I really don't have much intelligent to say, but I promised an article by the end of the week, so here it is. (I may be a procrastinator, but at least I'm not as bad as my counterpart.) So I'll just leave you with the most intelligent thing I know to say...

WAR EAGLE! BEAT FLORIDA!!! (then Tennessee again, then LSU again)

Bubbles!

Sites with analyses/ mentions of Auburn on the bubble:

ESPN (with sweet front page picture of Rasheem Barrett)

Other ESPN article with fun prediction for Auburn

The Car Wash (REALLY in-depth)

CBS

Expect an article from me later on this week about our adventures in roundball.

Expect an article from Brent about the offseason blues.... sometime maybe never; he's as bad a procrastinator as Mark and Ryan.

Daaaance? Anybody Wanna Daaaance?

Auburn's stomping of LSU was fun this weekend. Doubly fun when you're watching it at the only joint on Bourbon Street showing the game, and it's split 50-50 with Auburn fans and corn dogs (though doubtlessly less fun than being there in person). Here's a few things I learned during the game on Saturday in New Orleans.

1. LSU fans actually smell like corn dogs. I thought it was a joke. Nope. I mean they're really funktastic. It even stuck out over the usual Bourbon Street stank, and that's saying something.
2. I'm developing a man-crush on Korvotney Barber. During the game I attempted to yell "good play, Vot!" but what actually came out was "I wanna move to Vermont and adopt a child with you, Vot!" I was as surprised as anyone else to hear it, but I need to face facts: being the only player in the league to average a double-double is awesome. I think the "Player of the Week" performance pushed it over the edge.
3. Fat, old ladies in the French Quarter don't need beads. 'Nuff said.

There's not really much to say now that hasn't already been said about this basketball team and their tourney hopes. If you ask me, let's just win out and punch our own ticket. If you've seen this team play in the last month you know it's possible. Oh yes, it is possible. I won't elaborate further on the hypotheticals, or break down stats for this weekend or anything like that, because that's just not my bag.

I will say that I've noticed a lot of buzz on campus about this basketball team. The most since I've been here, that's for sure. Everybody's breaking down our chances, and some are even talking SEC Championship banners. Frankly, at the level we're playing, I'm one of them. Put that together with the big turnout, especially amongst students, I've got to give Lebo and this team credit, they've gotten Auburn excited about basketball again. And it's fun.

So, here's the task at hand:

1. Florida/Arkansas

2. Tennessee/ Bammer/Vandy

3. The rest of the pack

War Eagle! Let's go dancin'! .....We can leave Bammer behind.

Big Weekend

Big weekend coming up for the tigers! The women start SEC tourney play today against Ole Miss. And the men play "their most important game of the Lebo era" tomorrow when they face off against the LSU Tigeauxrs (I sure have been hearing that a lot lately). Unfortunately (for me) I will be in the worst place other than Baton Rouge to watch an LSU game this weekend... New Orleans. I was going to put up a serious preview of the game, but I got a little distracted over the past few days by a pesky little thing called "classes". But here are my weekend predictions.

1. Women win three and the SEC championship
2. The men utilize a great atmosphere in Beard-Eaves to propel them to a tough win: 72-70
3. BONUS PREDICTION: I get punched in the face by a raging LSU fan on Bourbon Street after the game.

*I really wanted to address the great textbook scandal of 2007/2009, but it'll have to wait. Don't worry, here's something fun in the meantime:

Never In Doubt

Not for a moment. Not when we shot 30% in the first half. Not when we were down 13 points in the second half. Not when Bammy rallied from a late 6 point deficit to tie with about a minute left, and all the pressure was on the visiting Tigers. Nope. Not for one second.

OK, so I kinda thought we were toast there for a while in the second half. But not the team. Because this is New Auburn. This isn't the same Auburn team we saw in November, or even in January for that matter. This is a team with the heart and the ability to win in this league. Auburn basketball after January is like Reggie Jackson after September. Like Tiger Woods after Friday. Like Michael Phelps in Beijing after a bong hit. Like A-Rod after a vacation to the Caribbean with his cousin. Oh wait... not those last two. My point is that something has sparked a fire inside this Auburn team. This team knows how to find a way to win. They're no UConn or UNC, not by a lot but they're as good as any team in this league, which is all it takes to get into the Madness.

Timing is Everything

Unfortunately for Auburn, it may be too little too late to garner an invite to the Big Dance based on regular season accomplishment alone. "Bracketologists" (stupid ESPN word for "talking head who specializes in NCAA tournament spew") all agree that Auburn isn't on the bubble. Yet. Even with a win over LSU on Saturday, its still a long shot for the Tigers. The same talking heads agree that Auburn will have to make a big time run in Tampa next week to make it.

The good news: Auburn is peaking at the right time. If we can carry the momentum through this week and into the tournament we have as good a shot as anyone at walking away with at least a couple of wins so we can get a serious look by the selection committee (with a bye, if we win three, we get that automatic bid; I vote we take that route). Jerry* speculates that Auburn's path will most likely go through Arkansas/Kentucky in the first game and Tennessee/South Carolina (possible #1 seeds in the East) in the semis. I speculate that we can beat any of those teams if we keep playing New Auburn basketball.

Football News

1. David Oku is still indecisive.


2. Nothing else.


3. Offseason Sucks. Look for an article by my esteemed colleague here in Section 25 later this week on how to deal with the offseason blues.

*Jerry tends to know his roundball a little better than me, so you'll probably want to see him for better details.

Basketball Jones

Less appropriate/PC original Cheech and Chong version here.

First of all, congratulations to Coach Nell Fortner and the Lady Tigers, outright winners of the SEC regular season title! The achievement was the first in 20 years for Auburn, and they punctuated it in a "statement game" type of way. Arkansas was a hot team, coming to Auburn on Sunday on a five game winning streak, and was playing to finish above .500 in SEC play. Lesser teams might have laid an egg, but not these Tigers. Instead of sleepwalking through the game, they looked as good as ever, putting up over 90 in the 37 point rout of the Arky-hogs. Look for them to go deep into postseason play. Big kudos to CNF, who, unlike certain other roundball coaches, set a goal of winning the SEC and achieved it, regardless of any obstacles (cough cough... facilities... cough cough) that stood in her way.

Speak of the Devil.

The men are riding an impressive 6-1 run since the embarrassment in Oxford, are playing some of their best ball in the Lebo era, and have a chance to lock up the #2 spot in the SEC west and a bye in the tournament. The only loss in that span came in a well played game against the 11th ranked SEC champion LSU Tigeurs in Baton Rouge. I maintain that had that game been played in Beard-Eaves, its a 7-0 run for Auburn. Nonetheless, I won't withdraw my previous jab at Lebo. At least not until the end of the season, and depending on the way it's finished. Lebo's guys have a tough week ahead of them starting with a dangerous game tomorrow night in West Vance, and wrapping up at home with senior day and a chance to avenge their loss to the Tigeauxrs.

In spite of the Gottfried situation, the Bammies have pulled together and rattled off three straight wins, including a thrashing of Ole Miss in Oxford on Saturday. Auburn had better treat this one as seriously as they take the next one, or the #2 spot in the west is in serious jeopardy. Auburn must win tomorrow night to secure a bye in the first round in Tampa*.

Obviously, if they play like they've been playing for the past month or so, it shouldn't be a problem. Fun with numbers: over this 6-1 run, Auburn's bench has outscored their opponents' 112-48 including a 36-0 performance in Starkville. The Tigers also hold a +25 turnover ratio in this run. These are going to be the keys in West Vance tomorrow night: Auburn's strong bench, and ball control.

Prediction: Bama makes a strong showing, but New Auburn Basketball is just too solid. Auburn wins 78-65.

Bonus Prediction: My finance teacher gets a rock through her car window if I don't get out of my test randomly scheduled for tomorrow night by tip-off. [Disclaimer! OK, that last prediction was in jest. Somewhere in Section 25 does not endorse vandalism, no matter how much it is warranted by ignorance of in-state rivalry]

*BTW, who on God's green earth decided to put the tournament in Tampa. Obviously the concept of "central location" is lost on some people. Even the womens tourney is in Little Rock. What is that all about?

Launch!

Somewhere in Section 25 is officially online! After literally minutes of hard work, the brainchild of these two underachieving undergraduates has been unleashed upon the unknowing masses of the internets, puns and alliteration aside. Great blessings to those who unwittingly stumble upon its erroneousness in search of true enlightenment... or a way to avoid work. Tell your friends! Tell your families! Write the url on your check in place of a tip! (see we're already saving you money!)

As our gift to you on this joyous occasion, please accept this classic piece of mindless puppet-based comedy: