To Whom it May Concern,
I have just now gotten back from my Spring Break and checked my internets to find out what is going on in the world of Auburn Football. To my immense pleasure and surprise, I found the new AUBURN FOOTBALL WEBSITE. My joy was quickly overshadowed by the weight of this NEW WEBSITE. Never in my life have I seen an administration be so reckless with the content of a WEBSITE. The amount of Auburn football contained in this one WEBSITE has to be well over the legal limit of awesomeness allowed to be contained in one place. If you haven't yet had the chance to VISIT THE SITE, I urge extreme caution. I may even go as far as to say one should never VISIT THE SITE. The human heart can only take so much.
Between player and coach videos, as well as more information than any reasonable person could want to know about Auburn football, there is simply no way that THIS MUCH AUBURN FOOTBALL could possibly be necessary. There is even a place on this NEW SITE dedicated to the top 20 plays in Auburn Football History, all with video accompanied by the official Auburn Network play call by Jim Fyffe or Rod Bramblett. At one point during the video of the LSU interception game of 1994 I actually blacked out! This AUBURNWAREAGLE.COM is a socially irresponsible act on par with the tobacco industry, or, dare I say it, the Vermont Cheese Industry! I demand the immediate termination of all those responsible for THIS egregious act of such a deplorable nature.
A Concerned Auburn Fan
PS: Sarcasm is fun