Somewhere in Section 25

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays: Season 2 VOL IV

2011-07-12T10:08:00.004-05:00

In keeping with last week's theme of loud, out of control music, this week's Tune was originally written by one of the loudest, out of control bands in rock, The MC5. The MC5, or Motor City 5, was formed in Detroit (oh.... MC5, I get it) and saw the height of their popularity in the late 60s. Their first album is one of the few live debut albums out there. Kick Out the Jams is proto-punk at its loudest, garage-y best. The Detroit band was on the more militant edge of the counter-culture movement, and one of the more amusing things to hear is the opening track on Kick Out the Jams, Ramblin' Rose, which is preceded by "inflammatory rhetoric" urging the audience towards "revolution", and that "it's time to move, it's time to get down with it!" I never did care much for a lot of the hippy/ counterculture politics, although it's definitely intriguing to hear that speech and the language they used during that volatile time. What I do care for is loud rock, and Kick Out the Jams has more than enough of that.

The title track of that debut, Kick Out the Jams is one of the most heavily covered songs in hard rock. If you ever hear someone yell "KICK OUT THE JAMS, M*****F****R!" at a show, cover your ears, you're about to hear yet another version of a great, eardrum rupturing song. This particular version by Pearl Jam is a great one, by a band that truly embraces the art of the cover. Pearl Jam seems to know when to take a song in a completely different direction from the original, and they know when to leave a song as is. Kick Out the Jams was left as is. For a song like this, if it's loud and fast, the rest is just gravy. Enjoy!

(ED: I almost forgot.... NSFW!!)

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to run through a wall now.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Funny Things Eli Gold and Phil Savage Said During the 2010 Iron Bowl

2011-07-06T19:12:00.000-05:00

The other night, I was discussing with some friends how I could probably watch the 2010 Auburn-Alabama game 500 times and still enjoy it. So how does good old CSS reward me for a day of hard work when I get home? A full replay of the Iron Bowl. Not only that, but a version I've never seen before: the Crimson Tide Sports Network version. Here are a few things Eli and Phil said during the game that I find humorous or amusing in hindsight. It is 50-50, you know? (ed.: some may be paraphrased; I don't have Tivo, and I'm not a very quick typer)

"As the sun begins to sink down and peep through the clouds, Bear is saying, 'Get this cloud out of here, I'm ready to watch some football'" -Eli
"You have to control yourself in big games like this and Nick Fairley didn't right there." -Phil, after the Fairley unsportsmanlike penalty, but before McElroy gave Auburn fans the finger
"Staunch crimson-clad defense forces Newton to unload the ball or take a sack" -Eli
"McElroy wisely tosses the ball out of bounds" -Eli
"Talk about kryptonite to Cam Newton, how does 21-0 sound?" -Phil
"................................." -Eli, regarding the Adams catch ruled out of bounds
"...Ziemba, who is making a forgettable 50th start." -Phil
"Alabama doing an unbelievable job tonight" -Phil, after the first play of the second half
"O brother..." -Eli, after the second play of the second half
"[Alabama's defense] seems to have lost their zip as to knowing what plays are coming" -Phil, some point during the 3rd qtr, who seemed to notice the same thing I did
"The game is on now. Alabama's offense has to score" -Phil, at 4:25 in the 3rd, who seemed to notice something we knew at 14:04 in the 3rd
"How many times over the years, have we seen special teams play a role in the Iron Bowl?" -Eli, after the Carr fumble
"Well that was a big loss right there" -Phil, 4 plays later
"Grandma, get your heart medicine ready. It's going to be one of those finishes." -Eli
"[Auburn scores] on the Rolex/ Bromberg's scoring drive... and the Tigers lead 28-27" -Eli
"Well that's overcoming adversity..." -Phil, regarding Bama picking up an inch during Auburn's 24-0 comeback in a particularly rude Bryant-Denny Stadium
"You know, I don't want to say we told you so...." -Eli
"I never believed in a million years, up 24-0 that Alabama would lose by one point 28-27" -Phil
"Seeing the aftermath, the Auburn team celebrating on your logo, on your home field, it's salt in the wound." -Phil

Sure, you could probably do that for any team's announcers knowing the results of a game, but it's just so much more fun with them.

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays: Season 2 VOL III

2011-07-05T19:56:00.005-05:00

If you like a nice clean guitar sound, look away. If you enjoy music with several layers and complex harmonies, bail out now. If a guitar with a nasty distort, a simple drum kit banging out a straight rock beat, and wild vocals are your thing, join the party. Garage rock band The White Stripes live DVD Under Blackpool Lights featured a cover of Bob Dylan's Outlaw Blues. This performance is a great example of the style the White Stripes were known for. Lots of folks out there knock Meg's drumming as a detriment to Jack's guitar playing. BOLLOCKS! Meg's garage sound and simple style accentuate Jack's heavy guitar sound and intense, screaching solos. Anything cleaner, anything more complex, anything other than Meg would make the White Stripes something else. Not bad, just not the Stripes. And damn if that Stripes sound isn't freaking cool!

Note the verse of Jack the Ripper at the end. For those not in the know (including myself until I happened across this video), Jack the Ripper was a pretty bad song written by a pretty bad musician who called himself Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow. Screaming Lord Sutch released some pretty bad albums in the 60's and 70's, despite the help of some pretty good artists, including Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck. So I learned something. Knowledge is power. Except in this instance. This knowledge, is in fact, useless.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays: Season 2 VOL II

2011-06-28T20:32:00.003-05:00

In keeping with the theme of what is apparently becoming Civil Wars Day in the blAUgosphere, today's Trademark-Infringing Tune comes from the up and coming duo. In November of 2009 (exactly a week before that colossal near-miss of an Iron Bowl that year, in fact) the Civil Wars played their second show ever at Eddie's Attic in Decatur, GA, proving that the Tigers weren't the only thing on the cusp of awesome that year.

The performance (the show, not the football game) was one of the world's first glimpses at the Civil Wars. The show was recorded and released as a free download. Not included on that download was a cover of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean. Fortunately for you, the Youtubes does include it! Enjoy.

Even with the lighthearted mood of that particular cover, you can hear the haunting vocals and chemistry of Joy Williams's and John Paul White's great sound. If you liked that, do yourself a favor and get their album, Barton Hollow which was released earlier this year.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays: Season 2 VOL I

2011-06-14T19:05:00.003-05:00

Welcome to the first installment of this year's Trademark Infringing Tune Tuesdays! I had so much fun doing this last year I decided I had to do it again this year. Don't worry, I'll have some Auburn-related stuff out soon enough. But in the meantime, kill some time with TITT (that doesn't work very well as an acronym....)

Harvard graduate Miles Fisher enjoys the Talking Heads. He also looks a helluva lot like Christian Bale. So how should he choose to employ these two traits? By making the coolest music video I've seen in years, that's how. Fisher parlays his acting abilities (he's appeared alongside Robert Duvall in Gods and Generals, as well as in an episode of my new favorite TV show, Mad Men) into a fantastic Bale impression, and his musical abilities into a fantastically catchy version of a Talking Heads song. This video, his cover of the Talking Heads 1982 song "This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)" is an homage to the 2000 cult film American Psycho, one of Bale's best performances, which was set in the 80's. Fans both of the movie and the song will surely get a kick out of this. Enjoy!

Trivia: The Talking Heads added "Naive Melody" to the title because for the song, they all played instruments with which they were not familiar. This gives it the somewhat sloppy sound the original is known for.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Section 25 Returns!

2011-06-08T18:31:00.002-05:00

Good news, everyone! After a short (long) break from the blAUgosphere, Section 25 will be returning this summer with new commentary, insight, and other items of general uselessness. You know what this calls for, right?

PRESIDENTIAL CHEST-BUMP!!

Yeah, it feels good to be back. War Eagle, everyone!

Unintelligence Criminal

2011-02-22T21:56:00.004-06:00

In the tradition of such classic memes as Philosoraptor and Courage Wolf, Section 25 brings you.... Unintelligence Criminal.

Joy

2011-01-12T23:51:00.001-06:00

Pure, unadulterated, magnificent joy.

T-19 Hours

2011-01-09T23:50:00.004-06:00

Do what we do, for 60 minutes and change, and no speed or tempo can stop this from ending up in our hands.

Section 25 Wishes You and Yours a Very Hateful Hate Week!

2010-11-22T03:31:00.006-06:00

[WARNING: Youtube video is deliberately NSFW]:

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned my Bammer friends at some point in the past on this blog. Yeah, I have some. It's true. Get raised in Birmingham like me and it's going to happen in spite of your best efforts. Despite their crimson shortcomings, they've proven to be great friends and some of the finest people I know.

Jay Coulter mentioned on Track 'Em last night the unique aspect of this rivalry; the passion and the proximity. Jay pointed out the fact that unlike many rivalries in college football, this is one of the few competitive in-state rivalries. Unlike Michigan-Ohio St. or Texas-Oklahoma, "we work together, live next to each other, and even marry into one another's families." Jay's conclusion here is that this proximity produces an impassioned, but ultimately friendly relationship between Auburn and Alabama fans.

With all due respect to Mr. Coulter (and much is due), that's dead wrong.

Sure, pair any given Auburn fan with any given Alabama fan, and odds are they'll have lots in common and get along just fine. But AUBURN and ALABAMA? They're as far apart as the east is from the west, and the moment those two people put on their college-football-fan hats, those two will be at each other's throats faster than you can say "neutral site". And in this state, we wear our college-football-fan hats an awful lot.

Auburn and Alabama are black and white. They're dogs and cats. It's democracy vs. communism. The two Universities may be similar today, but there's a fundamental difference that permeates through the two fan bases. Don't tell the Alabama fan that the old "cow college vs. 'The Univuhsity'" aspect is gone from this rivalry. And don't tell the Auburn fan that the old undeserved Bammer arrogance isn't there. Certainly don't tell me that--I've seen it and felt it stronger over the past year than possibly at any time in my life. There's genuine animosity there that is palpable, especially this week, and it's founded in much more than football.

This rivalry is about the establishment against the usurper. This rivalry is about the media darling against the stubborn, eternal underdog. This rivalry is about the might and the weight of the Alabama machine against the spirit and the will of the Auburn people. Look no further than this season's two teams to see the fundamental differences in the two sides.

One side went out and found the most popular name to coach and threw the most money at him to entice him to come. One side searched for a diamond in the rough, an unlikely winner hired more for his attitude than his public appeal, or even his track record. One staff is populated by yes men shrinking in the shadow of their great leader. One staff is filled with innovators; men whose collective presence dwarfs that of the one ultimately responsible for their success. One team was anointed champions in August, and later deemed "the only one loss team that could still win it all." One team fought and scratched and clawed its way up the polls, doing whatever it took to win for 11 weeks and throughout colossal distraction, only to be counted out by the so-called experts now.

Both sides will acknowledge these things. And both sides will say their side is in the right. Not that "that's our opinion but you're entitled to your own" but that their side is right. Auburn will tell Alabama that their hubris to think they are strong enough to buy greatness will be their downfall, and that they are foolish to dismiss the unbreakable spirit of the Auburn people, which no amount of money or "trudishun" can quell. Alabama will tell Auburn that they are jealous that they can't be the Univuhsity, that they threw the money at Saban because they are the school of the Bear and that they've earned the right for the best that money can buy, and that the spirit of the Auburn family is simply a false intangible that will ultimately fall to the strength of the Alabama machine.

And that is why we hate them. It's the arrogance, the entitlement. The fact that they simultaneously take pride in their dictum that they have an in state opponent that they work 365 days a year to defeat, all the while claiming Auburn fans have an unhealthy obsession with the great Bamuh. It's the car flags. The damn car flags. The ones that scream I'm better than you because of my football team. My football team from a college I probably didn't even attend.

On Saturday, I will probably meet with my Alabama friends. I will most likely share a beer with them. I will talk with them and laugh with them. But when the conversation turns to football, whether we won or lost, they will be the enemy. I will detest their arrogance. I will hate.

So, to all of the individuals out there who proclaim themselves to be Alabama fans, I say good luck. May the best man win....

But to the "Bama Nation" I have only one thing to say:

Happy Hate Week everyone.

War Damn Eagle

EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

2010-11-05T13:53:00.003-05:00

It's like the Titanic except it's full of "rumors and innuendo!"

Did this Look Fairley Familiar to Anyone Else?

2010-10-26T01:48:00.003-05:00

Wrap up!

The Joker Part II:

2010-10-22T17:23:00.005-05:00

With all due respect to Mr. Phillips in Lexington, there is only one coach in this league batsh!t crazy enough to be called The Joker.

[Scene: Cam Newton turns on the TV in his apartment. He is visibly distraught. This is not what he wanted when he came to the SEC. He wanted justice and order. Not anarchy and chaos. The date on the local news channel says October 9, 2010. The newscaster warned the viewers of what they were about to see.]

Rece Davis: Viewers please be aware, the image is disturbing.

[The TV cuts to shaky footage of a warehouse. Sitting tied to a chair is a man. He's dressed like the Caped Crusader, but it isn't him. His orange and blue is cheaper. The man's only run in(s) with the genuine article exposed him for what he truly was--an impostor. But he didn't deserve this. From behind the camera, the demented voice speaks.]

Joker: What's your name?

Hostage: Ur.... Urban Meyer.

Joker: Are you the real Batman?

Urban: N..N..no...

Joker: No? Then why do you dress up like him?

Urban: Because he's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.... Besides, I'm not dressed just like him. I'm wearing a lighter, royal blue, and plus look at the jorts.....

Joker: Yeah, but you do have to be afraid of me, Urban, you really do. So you think Cam Newton's made the SEC a better place? Look at my hat..... LOOK AT MY HAT!

[The camera turns around to show it's holder. The Joker is a sickening figure. A clown, but the most terrifying kind. The kind from Louisiana.]

Joker: You see this is how crazy Cam Newton's made the SEC. You want order in the SEC. Cam Newton must take off his helmet, and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, I'll call a fake field goal. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. HEHEHAHA!!

STAY TUNED FOR PART II ON FRIDAY: SAME BATSH!T CRAZY TIME, SAME BATSH!T CRAZY CHANNEL!

The Joker Part I: Agent of Chaos

2010-10-20T00:52:00.018-05:00

With all due respect to Mr. Phillips in Lexington, there is only one coach in this league batsh!t crazy enough to be called The Joker.

[Scene: Everyone has been evacuated. Only one patient remains in his room. The most high profile patient is also the most grotesque. The hideously disfigured man had refused treatment, his body left scarred and charred from the flames and off-season attrition. The nurse checked the charts, mysteriously unconcerned about the chaos that moments before had enveloped the building. The nurse turns to look at the patient. It is the Joker. He takes off his mask and sits beside the patient.]

Joker: Hi.

[The patient struggles to get at him, but his restraints keep him at bay]

Joker: You know, I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us. When that pass interference flag was thrown, I was sitting on the sideline. I didn't make that call.

Derek Dooley: Your deal with the devil. Your plan.

Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things. Steve Spurrier has plans, Urban Meyer has plans, Auburn's got plans, you know. They're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that that 4th and 14 was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth.

[The Joker loosens Dooley's restraints]

Joker: You see, it's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans to coach an SEC team, and uh, look where that got you.

[As the Joker unfastens the restraints, Dooley lunges at him, but the Joker overpowers Dooley, weakened by the aftermath of Lane Kiffin]

Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and turned it on itself. Look what I did to this conference with a retarded offense and a goofy hat. You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even when the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, South Carolina will start Steven Garcia at quarterback, or Auburn will give up 43 points on defense to an SEC opponent, nobody panics. Because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that we're going for one, little old touchdown pass down one with eight second remaining, then everyone loses their minds!

[The Joker pulls out a gun, places it in Dooleys hand, points it to his own head; calls for a substitution]

Joker: Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order...

[Players run on and off the field like a Chinese fire drill]

Joker: ...and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos... it's fair.

[Dooley stares at the Joker for a moment, pulls out a coin, then calls for his own substitution]

Dooley: Heads you live, tails you die.

Joker: Now we're talking!

[Dooley flips the coin in the air]

STAY TUNED FOR PART II ON FRIDAY: SAME BATSH!T CRAZY TIME, SAME BATSH!T CRAZY CHANNEL!

Is this the most exciting, nerve wracking season Auburn's ever had?

2010-10-18T12:58:00.009-05:00

Did the little piggie cry wee wee wee all the way home?

Somewhat related anecdote. I sat with the family for the game on Saturday and the following exchange happened some time early in the 4th quarter as the game was approaching EA Sports levels of scoring and back and forth momentum swings:

ME: I guess I should have known I was in for this kind of craziness when I signed up to be an Auburn fan.

MOM: Signed up? Honey, you were drafted.

Point well taken, Mom. Point well taken.

Section 25 Unleashes the Good Juju

2010-10-15T14:35:00.003-05:00

All the talk this week has been "look out for the Arkansas curse!" Everyone has mentioned the 2001, 2002, and 2006 seasons where the Arkansas loss kept the Tigers from going to Atlanta, and a few people have even pulled out the 1995 loss. In all of these games, Auburn was a heavy favorite, and in all of these games, Auburn laid an egg. The fear is that the curse has always been the rule and never the exception, and here we are in 2010, staring down the inevitable letdown that always comes against the Hogs.

But we here in Section 25 are sick to death of all the doom and gloom and nay saying. We're sick of people saying that a favored Auburn team is incapable of beating an Arkansas team. To those people, we would like to present the following for your consideration:

That was the first drive of the game. Auburn scored on its next four. It was never really close after that.

Obviously this team of Piggies isn't the same one that went 5-6 in 2004, and we're obviously not some big favorite in this game. The point is, the "Hog Hex" is beatable. This game isn't going to come down to whatever happened four, eight, nine, or fifteen years ago. This is going to come down to whoever is more prepared for this game, and who executes their gameplan. The so-called hex was debunked in 2004, and it has to be debunked again sometime; why not tomorrow?

Auburn/ SEC Mid-Season Thoughts

2010-10-11T16:15:00.006-05:00

Say WHAAAT?

The Good News: There isn't a team on the planet outside of the NFL that Auburn couldn't beat.
The Bad News: There isn't a team in the SEC outside of Vanderbilt that couldn't beat Auburn.
The Good News: It's up to Auburn which of the above things happens. Pre-season, there was a lot of talk comparing this team to the 2004 team. Incredibly talented offense, stubborn defense, and essentially abusing every team they played. With half of this season gone, I have to disagree, but don't worry Auburn fans, my conclusion is just as good. This team reminds me more of the 1993 Auburn team to this point in the season. Sufficiently talented, but inconsistent. The difference between the 1993 team and the 2004 team (other than probation) was that the 2004 team won by overpowering teams on offense and playing shut down D. The 1993 team won by..... well however they could. Close wins against Ole Miss and Vandy, but big wins against highly ranked Florida and defending champs Alabama. This Auburn team wins, and that mindset is what's going to keep the bad news above from happening. The toughest part of our schedule is ahead of us and anything could happen in these next six games, but this team has given us no reason to believe it can't be something special.
Oh No! There Goes Tokyo! It is becoming more and more clear that Cam Newton is in fact a prehistoric creature who rose from the sea to wreak havoc on the SEC. Cam for Heisman is no longer a pipe dream, it's a very real possibility. If he continues to play the way he has since the second half of the Clemson game, Auburn always has a chance to win. There really is no answer for Cam when he's on his game. Cam dares you to drop back into coverage. Don't think for a moment this won't happen. He also dares you to put eight men in the box.

Don't think for a moment that this won't happen.

Defense: Eh. Need some improvement gentlemen. I'm going to throw out a theory about our pass defense and y'all feel free to rip it to pieces down in the comments section. Of course the coverage leaves something to be desired. But am I the only one who can read our blitzes like a book? Like a children's book? And I know if I can read it, then people who coach and play football for a living/scholarship can read it. Sure enough, whenever we show blitz, I call it, the quarterback audibles, we blitz the same hole we showed blitz, and the o-line picks it up. It just doesn't seem to be working quite right. But you know, that's just, like, my opinion, man.
Bama: Hooray for Brahsome Garcia and all, but this really doesn't change a darn thing for us. We still can't afford to lose one game if we want to make it to Atlanta. Still though, hooray.
The Mad Hatter: His existence terrifies me. The man clearly sold his soul to the devil, then double-crossed the devil and instead sold his soul for a lifetime supply of G.I. Joe sized hats. That, people, takes balls. But not as much as he's shown over the last two weeks. The clock management disaster turned miracle had Tennessee fans dancing in the streets (and even making a scene in front of Hamilton's in Auburn) before having their world crushed a minute later. I'm certainly no Tennessee fan but that was sad to watch, if only because we as Auburn fans have been there before. Then there was the botched fake field goal turned successful fake field goal by inches. If Arkansas is the one team most likely to beat us straight up before Alabama, then LSU is the team I'm most scared will fall ass-backward into beating us.
Speaking of Tennessee and Florida: The SEC East is just a different kind of down this year. The West has three teams in the top 10 and four in the top 12. That's just scary. I always felt that Auburn is traditionally an East team, but this is one of the first times I really wished we were there.

That's all I've got for now, but stay tuned around here, there's going to be plenty of excitement for the next few weeks!

War Damn Eagle!

It's Science

2010-09-21T15:13:00.003-05:00

via spencer

It's Not Crazy, It's Auburn

2010-09-12T12:46:00.004-05:00

ESPN Gameday will be in the Loveliest Village this week for the Clemson game. This could be the week that propels Auburn to big things this year, so make sure to come. And bring signs!

Road Report: MississipPi State

2010-09-10T21:35:00.005-05:00

Section 25 took the last train to Starkville and got into Davis-Wade Cattle Ranch Stadium a half-hour before kickoff. Here are a few assorted notes and observations from our trip you might find interesting:

Really State? Thursday night? Really? You think this is going to help your exposure? Really? And you guys don't think that ESPN will pass up advertising this game to advertise "Monster Saturday"? Really? And you don't think that playing at the same time as the NFL's opening night is going to effect that exposure? Really? Really? OK fine then.
Directly between Auburn and Starkvegas stands West Vance. Due to time constraints, and that pesky class thing, the Section 25 bus had no choice but to risk the O of that town sticking to the car and drive right through to make it to the game on time. On the way through, one of my colleagues noticed a certain crimson flag flying proudly on a hillside..... upside down. He then summed up our feelings about it: "Don't ever change, Bama."
If you think the parking situation is bad in Auburn, try Starkville. Ok, granted we got there late. But the abundance of large grassy areas where no one was parking on gameday was frustrating to no end.
I've heard horror stories of the old bathrooms at Ga. Tech's Bobby-Dodd, but I had no idea how bad the Davis-Wade bathrooms are. Tiny, no air conditioning, and nothing but a wall where toilets should be. So, next time you go to a game at MSU, pee beforehand.
The Bully fans are usually nothing to complain about, and are usually cordial enough, but am I the only one that got a really different vibe from this group Thursday? Cussed out and flipped off several times, a friend had some guy come up and take his drink out of his hand and pour it out in front of him, and some student who looked more like a 9th grader tried to pick a fight with me in the bathroom. When they actually think they can win, State fans kind of suck. After the game though, every State fan I saw was kind and cordial again, and talked about the game with us. Weird stuff. I think Dan Mullen put drugs in the water or something. Chizik must have notified authorities during the game to put things back to normal.
Ok, completely not a road trip thing, but this movie is on TV right now, and I'm pretty sure I just found Josh Bynes' (evil?) twin. Not sure if he's evil or not, since they both specialize in ripping people's heads off.
Speaking of defensively related things, Happy learned how to play defense! Guess who Section 25's new hero is?

On the matter of the cowbells: "Ring Responsibly" and "Respect the Bell"? Yeah, not working. If the SEC follows through on the rules, MSU just earned themselves a $5000 fine. Chances of that happening? Slim. Chances of it mattering to MSU fans if the fine was handed down? None. Do you really want to put a stop to illegal noisemakers? Give the refs the control. Throw that little yellow handkerchief and that will put a stop to it REALLY quick. If you can't make enough noise to disrupt the other teams offense without resorting to cheap tricks, then that's just a little sad. Also, if MSU is not fined, expect Section 25 to sneak in air horns to the MSU game next year. They will only be used during appropriate times [snickers, blows horn every snap MSU's offense takes].
Think 82 from West Vance to Montgomery was bad? Try doing it at 1:00 in the morning and not imagining all the horror story situations that could happen to you down that road.

Auburn folks seem to be divided into two camps about the outcome of this game. As for me, I've been saying since January what State's arch-rival almost said: "It's A Trap!" Our goal last night wasn't so much to win as just not to lose, and the strategy reflected that. The Gus Bus cruised along well below top speed in order to make sure Godzilla kept his head under that slightly illegal sounding crowd noise, and the defense stepped up and made enough plays to get us out of there with a W. Expect to see a different Auburn team next weekend when Cousin Clemson comes to town.

2-0 works for me! Keep it coming guys!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!

2010-09-03T13:38:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year.

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL X: I Wish it was Christmas Today

2010-08-31T06:07:00.002-05:00

Because this is the off season and there's nothing better to do, because there are approximately 4(!) days until football season (that's just a guesstimate, give or take a few), and because it's Tuesday and you need a pick-me-up, I'm presenting the year's final installment of "Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays". Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays is an off-topic post that will feature a band playing a song by a different band each week. Some you may have heard and, hopefully, some will be completely new to you.

For the tenth and final installment of this year's Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays, and in the spirit of the most wonderful time of the year being a mere 4 days away, I present Julian Casablancas's version of Saturday Night Live's "I Wish it was Christmas Today".

I don't care what the students say, football time is near

I don't care what my professors say, football is full of cheer

All I know is the Orange and Blue, are making their way to play for me and you

I wish there was football today

I wish there was football today oh oh

I wish there was football today

I wish there was football today oh oh

All I know is that Gene Chizik

Don't care about what ESPN thinks about us

I wish there was, I wish there was, I wish there was, I wish there was

I don't care what the coaches say, Auburn is #1

I don't care what the media says, Auburn won't be outdone

I don't care about anything, but hearing that band play and all the fans sing

I wish there was football today, on that good ol' village on The Plains

I wish there was football today

I wish there was football today oh oh

I wish there was football today

I wish there was football today oh oh

Coach Chiz is bringing a lot of wins

So be sure to be here when the season begins.

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!

WAR EAGLE!

And Now, a Moment of Unbridled Optimism and Sunshine Pumpery

2010-08-21T21:19:00.005-05:00

Ok, so, imagine this... only for 60 minutes instead of 55.

I'm sitting here watching a rerun of the Iron Bowl on TV. And all I can think is, "We're not gonna do that this year," "Cam's gonna complete that pass this year," "Somebody's going to have to guard the QB on that option read this year," "That double coverage on Darvin is gonna leave Carr or Reed or Zachary or Burns or Lutz or Kitchens or Benton wide open this year," "Our depth means this defense isn't going to be sucking wind in the 4th quarter this year," "That confused looking veteran Bama D is going to be full of first year starters this year".

Optimism level.... up, and steadily climbing. September 4 can't get here soon enough.

New Site Layout!

2010-07-29T16:19:00.004-05:00

Huzzah! Summer boredom has yielded us a glorious change in format. This calls for a celebratory chest bump!

D-LINE CHEST BUMP!

If this is just too busy for you let me know, there's plenty of summer boredom left to change it up to something new.

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL IX: Have You Ever Seen the Rain/ Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta

2010-07-27T15:18:00.005-05:00

No, neither of these versions are covers. But it's almost August and I've reached the breaking point. I must have some Auburn football. Every day I drive by Jordan-Hare and start shaking. Seriously, I think I'm getting the football DT's. I'm sitting here watching College Football Live have Pac-10 (12? 16? I'm so confused!) quarterback day and it just doesn't scratch the itch. **Side-rant-- the "What If" series that Reece Davis keeps nutting over every day? Pathetic. I know you guys are having a hard time filling 30 minutes in the dead of summer, but I can't stand this crap. And how are you coming to these conclusions? If Miami doesn't get called for pass interference against Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl Nick Saban stays at LSU until 2007? What??-- End Side-rant**

And so, because of this need to ease my withdrawals, today's double-shot is not trademark infringing in the way of being covers, but instead that I kind of found them both on The War Eagle Reader. Sorry guys. If it makes you feel any better, I'll include the link to the original articles.

First off, here's Rain Game redux featuring, who else: Creedence Clearwater Revival and "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"

Next, here's a tribute to the real O.G.s, CGC and Auburn, performed by the Geto Boys. WARNING: the audio in "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" is very much NSFW. ADDITIONAL WARNING: if you couldn't guess that a song of that title performed by any group calling themselves the Geto Boys is NSFW, you may be lacking in common sense.

Is it football season yet?

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL VIII: (I Know) I'm Losing You

2010-07-20T19:55:00.005-05:00

This week's Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesday is a double-shot. You're welcome.

The Temptations' "(I Know) I'm Losing You" climbed to #8 on the pop charts in 1966. This piece of vaguely psychedelic Motown was not lost on other hard rock groups of the time. In 1970 and 1971, two hard rock groups covered the song and both versions are worth checking out. The 1971 version was performed by The Faces, headed up by one of the architects of British hard rock in the 1960's; scratchy voiced, hard rockin' Rod Stewart. Not to be confused with disco Rod Stewart, cheesy 90s, collaborating with Bryan Adams and Sting Rod Steward, or big band rip off Rod Stewart. So yeah, the short lived and only good Rod Stewart. What happened? I blame Goodnight.

The 1970 version is off the same album as our VOL II Trademark-Infringing Tune. The entire Ecology album is great. I highly recommend checking that out, preferably on vinyl. Here's the epic 10 minute long Rare Earth version. [Ed.-- I couldn't find the album version on the Youtubes. Here's an equally epic live version. It cuts out for a few seconds at the 8:33 mark, but you'll get the picture.]

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL VII: Hey Ya

2010-07-13T16:20:00.003-05:00

No time for commentary today. Class and what not.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL VI: Satellite of Love

2010-07-06T14:30:00.006-05:00

If you haven't seen the movie Adventureland, I would highly recommend it. Solid acting, cool story, very witty, and they have some hilarious music-based comedy (which I obviously enjoy) including a the world's worst house band and a great running gag involving "Rock me Amadeus".

Included on the extremely well put together soundtrack, which is one of the movie's strongest points much like Dazed and Confused, is a song that I had not yet heard until seeing the movie, Lou Reed's Satellite of Love (Shed a Light on Love?). Although I'm generally speaking, I'm not much of a Lou Reed fan, Satellite of Love is a great song and really shines at that point in the movie.

For those of you who, like me, aren't typically into the more depressed sounds of Lou Reed and Velvet Underground, a more joyful version of Satellite of Love performed by a usually happier U2 is a great way to test the waters and see if it's for you.

If you enjoyed that, check out some of the other songs on the Adventureland soundtrack or, better yet, go buy the movie.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL V: Poker Face

2010-06-22T13:33:00.005-05:00

DISCLAIMER: If you can't find music humorous, DO NOT READ THIS POST. It is the most ridiculous post I've made since ever.

I decided a few weeks ago that I sometimes have what I call an ironic sense of music. I have several Barenaked Ladies albums. In high school I had a mix CD with both a Meat Loaf song and a William Shatner song (which I discovered on Conan). One of the most listened to songs on my iPod is Kitty by Presidents of the United States of America. Why? Because it's all a little funny. Seriously, listen to Shatner sing Common People and try not to laugh*. No really, I'll wait...... You couldn't do it could you? If there's a song that is humorous, either intentionally or unintentionally, I'll probably listen to it.

With the most recent batch of crazy people (read: Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, etc...) to unleash ridiculous music on the poor unsuspecting masses, there's been plenty of opportunities for those with ironic senses of music to get their fill of stupid, goofy, over the top songs. OK, so I hate Lady Gaga and Ke$ha, and frankly every time I hear either of them on the radio I can't change the channel fast enough. Really it doesn't fall into the category of ironically appealing because it's too much bad and not enough funny. There's a strict**, objective**, scientific** formula to create ironically good music, which requires the right amount of bad and funny, and these songs fail to meet the standards of that formula.

BUT there's hope yet for these songs. For one of the best things to happen in the past five years for ironic music lovers the world over (in my uninformed opinion) has covered Poker Face. Yes, the British Pop sensation Mika, who brought you such genius musical masterpieces as Big Girl (You are Beautiful) and Lollipop, has taken a crack at it:

No joke, every time he starts with the "oh, oh oh oh" part I crack up. If you didn't I'm sorry I wasted your time with this dumb post.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

*For that matter, try watching the original Pulp music video and not laughing.

**Not at all.

OT: HA! That's YOUR sport you suck at.

2010-06-13T12:54:00.004-05:00

For those of you still in the baseball mindset from last week, this is scored: E1.

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL IV: Give a Little Bit

2010-06-08T17:08:00.004-05:00

Sorry to everyone for the lack of a Tune last week. The beach was calling, and it doesn't have reliable internet access.

But this week, I got to thinking about the very last concert in Beard-Eaves. The venue that has hosted Elvis, The Rolling Stones, Elton John, Bruce Springsteen and others, and I was a little disappointed to find out that the last show was.... Sister Hazel, the Goo-Goo Dolls, and some other thing*. Not that I don't like the former two, but those names don't exactly carry the clout that those other names do. The concert was very enjoyable--certainly more so than the last few UPC has put on, but that's a rant for another time. I was definitely a fan of the Goo-Goo Dolls and Sister Hazel growing up. Not a big fan mind you, but it was good stuff, and if their show wasn't ideal, it was a capable send-off of the Beav.

And so, in honor of that last concert and Beard Eaves, here's a great Goo-Goo Dolls cover of Supertramp's Give a Little Bit.

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

*I think Summer Rockets or something like that. Whatever they were they nearly got booed off the stage. Granted, the lead singer did a one-man-band thing with all the instruments on a loop that was pretty cool. But that didn't make up for the other 40 minutes of suck.

CREEDE SIMPSON

2010-06-06T22:44:00.004-05:00

Tell me about it, Rod:

Game 7. Tomorrow night, 6:00. BE THERE.

WAR EAGLE!

AUBURN BASEBALL'S TOO POWERFUL TO LET THIS SEASON END!

2010-06-03T21:31:00.006-05:00

HOME RUN! BUILDING KICK! EXPLOSIOOOOOOON!

Auburn baseball starts it's regional tomorrow! Auburn's hit 117 home runs this season! That's more powerful than anyone else in the NCAA! Yeah it is. Who said that? Was that Hal Baird? No. It was Joooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhn Pawlowski.

Auburn baseball is so powerful, it doesn't need Trent Mummey or Brian Fletcher! But then it got too cold, so now they're bringing them back for regionals! MUMMEY-FLETCHER POWEEERRR!

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ba-BASEBALL!

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL III: Smells Like Teen Spirit

2010-05-25T13:55:00.004-05:00

One Win Away from the West

2010-05-20T21:32:00.003-05:00

Kevin Patterson went TATER with 2 outs facing a 2 run deficit in the 8th inning to give Auburn the 5-3 W in Oxford tonight. That puts Auburn one win away from clinching the #1 spot from the West in the tournament at Hoover next week. First pitch tomorrow, 6:30. Be there or be.... on the radio or checking the message boards or something. Because that's what I'm doing.

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL II: Eleanor Rigby

2010-05-18T14:27:00.003-05:00

Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays VOL I: No Quarter

2010-05-11T14:01:00.011-05:00

Because this is the off season and there's nothing better to do, because there are approximately 2,357,861 days until football season (that's just a guesstimate, give or take a few), and because it's Tuesday and you need a pick-me-up, I'm going to introduce a new reoccurring post entitled "Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays". Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays is an off-topic post that will feature a band playing a song by a different band each week. Some you may have heard and, hopefully, some will be completely new to you.

One of my favorite bands of all time is the mighty Led Zeppelin. Zeppelin's thunderous style, virtuoso blues guitar, and soaring powerful vocals have been imitated by many, but none have recaptured that sound. Most of the time when a Zeppelin fan such as myself hears "...a cover of Led Zeppelin's..." there's a part of you that thinks, "fat chance this will work out." But, every now and again, there's a band that finds the ability to do it, if only for one song.

On today's episode of Trademark-Infringing Tuesdays, Shara Worden of My Brightest Diamond pulls off one of those rare moments. Her background in opera makes her the perfect choice for the epic No Quarter. This live, bootlegged version doesn't have the sound quality necessary to hear the instrumentals properly, but the most important thing here is the haunting and powerful vocals Worden cranks out, reminiscent of that powerful Zeppelin sound. So without further jibber-jabber, here's Shara Worden and My Brightest Diamond's cover of Led Zeppelin's No Quarter.

If you liked this, I'd definitely recommend the album that got me into Worden's music, Hazards of Love by The Decemberists, a rock opera which features her as "the queen". (The plot is kind of out there, but then again, so are all rock operas. Think about The Who's Tommy. A pinball-playing, cult-leading, deaf, dumb, and blind kid?)

Tune in next week when Trademark-Infringing Tune Tuesdays will feature........ another band playing a song by a different band!

Auburn Media: Learning their lesson one crappy alt rock song at a time

2010-05-07T14:48:00.007-05:00

If you're like me and hate most of the stupid intro video songs Auburn has chosen over the past few years and are ready for something that doesn't suck, you're in luck. This year's intro song will be chosen by the fans. The voting takes place here. There are plenty of options that don't suck on that list, and I am very confident the Auburn people will pick the right one. However, I would like to enter Section 25's official write-in candidate:

If you think Auburn football to the tune of Wolfmother would kick as much @$$ as it obviously would, write in Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother, and spread the word.

YES WE CAN pick a great song.

Baseball Update

2010-05-02T19:08:00.001-05:00

13-2 That just happened.

NCAA to pass "Auburn Rule" Part II

2010-04-30T16:32:00.008-05:00

The NCAA released a statement today regarding recruiting practices.* This new rule will affect Auburn in particular, and has been passed as an addendum to the so-called "Auburn Rule" that passed earlier this week. This is the new rule as reported by the NCAA:

No school shall knowingly allow any coaches to attend a high school during any
recruiting period wearing a backwards hat, or carrying a towel. In
addition, no coach will appear at any school under the influence of heavy drugs such as caffiene consumed in the form of large amounts of coffee.

In its press release, NCAA President Mark Emmert had this to say regarding the new rule: "The blatant disregard for proper hatwear that some universities has shown is unacceptable. The NCAA stands for certain things, and wearing a hat backwards is simply not representitive of those things. Also, everyone needs to know the proper use of towels, and waving them around is not one of them. The NCAA has hired a new spokesperson to promote proper towel usage: As far as the new drug rule is concerned, the NCAA has always taken a strong stance against drug use, and coffee is a very dangerous epidemic that threatens the integrity of our sport."

When reached for comment, Trooper Taylor, who is believed to be the basis for the first section of the new rule had this to say, "I was just trying to get my Ford Prefect on. I didn't think I was hurting anyone."

Gus Malzahn, offensive coordinator and noted supporter of NORCL (National Organization for the Reform of Coffee Laws) was unavailable for comment, but sources within Auburn's Athletic Department said that, upon hearing the new rule, he was heard to say, "SCREWTHISIVEALREADYWASTEDSEVENSECONDSONTHISCRAPTHATICOULDHAVESPENDGETTINGOURTEMPOFASTERWHERESMYPLAYBOOKIMGOINGTOMAKEANEWPLAYWHERETHEWATERBOYLINESUPATQUARTERBACKANDTHECENTERLINESUPASARUNNINGBACKANDI'MGOINGTOCALLITF*&%#YOUNCAA."

*Hooray for parody!

Chizik of Auburnia

2010-04-25T00:44:00.003-05:00

Friday, April 16th, 2010:
T.E. (Tiger: Eugene) Chizik and Sharif Malzahn stand upon a precipice. Their small and unlikely band of warriors gathers behind them. Several weeks journey away, stands their quarry and the goal of their journey, Aqaba-scaloosa. With it's guns turned to the sea, they do not anticipate attack from the landward side. T.E. Chizik has concocted the perfect battleplan, but standing between them is a great desert. Some have said this desert can never be crossed. But Chizik of Auburnia is undeterred. All eyes look to him as they stand on the brink of glory.

Sharif Malzahn: There is the A-Day. And that is the summer. From here until we reach the other side, no football news but what we carry with us. For the fans, no football news at all. If the fans die, we die. And in four months they will start to die.

T.E. Chizik: There's no time to waste, then, is there?

(9:00)

The desert of summer is upon us. We turn back for no one. Good luck to you. And may God help us. God help us all.

Bloggers Note: F--- the summer.

Auburn Related Quote of the Day

2010-04-09T14:56:00.004-05:00

Courtesy of my favorite non-Auburn blog, EDSBS.

"Ronnie Brown ran like he was paving a sidewalk and needed some concrete in the
form of your crushed bones. And he needed all of that urgently."

A Letter from Coach Barbee to the Students

2010-03-30T13:29:00.004-05:00

What has two thumbs and is excited about the 2010-2011 Auburn Basketball season? This guy!

Dear Auburn Students,

As your new head basketball coach, I am thrilled about the opportunity to represent you and this great university at such an exciting time for Auburn basketball. When I accepted this job, I knew there would be challenges, but what struck me the most was the tremendous potential of this program with everything Auburn has to offer. The university, the community and the fan base are all top notch, and the new state-of-the-art Auburn Arena demonstrates a commitment to this program that will help us take Auburn basketball to new heights.

As your head coach, I promise to stay true to the Auburn Creed as I believe in work, hard work. With that said, my staff and I will not be outworked as we bring the Auburn Family what they deserve. I will give my all in every aspect of the job, from recruiting and coaching to promoting the program. I will do everything in my power to produce a winning program and change the culture of Auburn basketball.

I challenge you, the Auburn students, to create a real excitement around Auburn basketball. You are a part of the team, and I need you there at every game to make Auburn Arena the best home court advantage in the SEC.

You are critical to our success, and there has not been a more significant period to turn this program around than now. The administration shares my feelings, as the design of Auburn Arena prioritizes the experience of the students.

The Auburn Arena caters to students in every way and is designed to create an intimidating home court advantage. Very few students throughout the entire nation will enjoy the same amenities that this new arena will present to you. You will have your own private entrance to the arena, concourse area, restrooms and concession stand. As students, you will have the best seats in the building. The student section will surround three sides of the court on the floor level. You will have an effect on the game like never before, and our atmosphere will be contingent on you. With your help, I truly believe we can have a great basketball atmosphere.

I know we can accomplish all of our goals together. I cannot express how excited I am to be your new coach. I look forward to the next few months as we build enthusiasm for next season and beyond.

War Eagle!

Tony Barbee

Head Men's Basketball Coach

Happy Spring Practice!

2010-03-24T17:09:00.004-05:00

Yeah. Yeah, that looks nice.

A Open Letter and Formal Reprimand to Auburn Football

2010-03-22T19:18:00.005-05:00

To Whom it May Concern,

I have just now gotten back from my Spring Break and checked my internets to find out what is going on in the world of Auburn Football. To my immense pleasure and surprise, I found the new AUBURN FOOTBALL WEBSITE. My joy was quickly overshadowed by the weight of this NEW WEBSITE. Never in my life have I seen an administration be so reckless with the content of a WEBSITE. The amount of Auburn football contained in this one WEBSITE has to be well over the legal limit of awesomeness allowed to be contained in one place. If you haven't yet had the chance to VISIT THE SITE, I urge extreme caution. I may even go as far as to say one should never VISIT THE SITE. The human heart can only take so much.

Between player and coach videos, as well as more information than any reasonable person could want to know about Auburn football, there is simply no way that THIS MUCH AUBURN FOOTBALL could possibly be necessary. There is even a place on this NEW SITE dedicated to the top 20 plays in Auburn Football History, all with video accompanied by the official Auburn Network play call by Jim Fyffe or Rod Bramblett. At one point during the video of the LSU interception game of 1994 I actually blacked out! This AUBURNWAREAGLE.COM is a socially irresponsible act on par with the tobacco industry, or, dare I say it, the Vermont Cheese Industry! I demand the immediate termination of all those responsible for THIS egregious act of such a deplorable nature.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Auburn Fan

PS: Sarcasm is fun

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

2010-03-12T14:40:00.006-06:00

I'm gonna throw some stats at you:

2 Winning seasons in 6 years

1 Winning season in Conference play

1 NIT Bid

0 NCAA appearances

4 Starting Seniors

15 Wins with those seniors

0 Posts since January 9

None of those numbers are acceptable. For the one I am responsible for, I am sorry.

Brad Nessler said during the bammy-Kentucky game that he believed that to fire Lebo before giving him a chance in the new Arena was unfair. I say unfair went out the window a couple of seasons ago. The man just didn't get the job done. For more reasons why this was a good idea, check out Jerry's take on the matter, or check any one of the Auburn Bloggage links to the right; they'll probably all have something more informed than me to say very soon.

The bottom line, and I think I speak for most Auburn fans, is that we're sick of the boredom that surrounds this basketball program. We're sick of the fact that by this time of the basketball season, the most exciting time, Auburn is a non factor. I'm sick of hearing talk nationally about how we don't care about basketball, and then seeing results on the court that back up this theory. Auburn basketball is far and away my second favorite sport, just behind Auburn football. I take a lot of pride in the better teams we have had throughout the years and the product Jeff Lebo gave us was not something to be proud of. I appreciate the fact that Lebo coached with class, and after the last days of Ellis, that's something we desperately needed. But now is the time to start winning again, and with chance after chance, Lebo has proven he can't do that at Auburn. New arena, new coach, new excitement for Auburn basketball.... I just hope the new coach is the right one.

PS: I'm going to try and get a makeup post out there soon to make up for all the time I lost.

Tuberville to Texas Tech

2010-01-09T19:01:00.000-06:00

I have obtained exclusive video of Red Raider fans celebrating the news of the hire in their usual disturbing and suggestive way.

Notes From my Tampa Experience or How I Learned to Stop Fretting and Love the Outback Bowl

2010-01-01T23:58:00.000-06:00

This New Years holiday was a little stressful for me. I had a great gameplan and I knew all the things that I was going to do and see during the week in Tampa. Unfortunately, my weekend did not go off without a hitch. Over the trip, I compiled a few mental notes, and I now present them as a memoir of my journey; of what I saw, observed, and learned. And I'm bored and have nothing better to do. You're welcome, internet.

1. St. Petersburg is NOT the Opelika to Tampa's Auburn.
For me, football has always been a family affair. That's why I grew up loving Auburn, because my parents did what any good parent would do, and brainwashed me through years of family (extended family) trips to Auburn football games. So of course this year was no different when it came time to make the bowl trip. I would stay with my family (because they so generously payed for my ticket, lodging, food, and travel) but I would be able to go out with my friends on New Years Eve. After all, I'll be able to walk to the hotel, because we'll probably be staying nearby the parade and main tourism area. So, me and my family packed up and headed down to... St. Petersburg? Well that shouldn't be too bad. "It's just across the bridge" said my Granddad, who booked the hotel at St. Petersburg Beach. I'll be able to take a cab back to the hotel... 45 minutes later, and I figure my cab fare to be about 50 bucks. Goodbye New Years Eve out in Tampa, hello New Years Eve in a smelly beach motel.

2. White socks+White shoes= Awesome.
It took until midway through the first quarter of play for me to realize what it was that made Auburn's uniforms look so freaking awesome on Friday. It was definitely the sock/shoe combo. Of course, we all know that Auburn usually plays with black shoes and socks, but at the Outback bowl, they used the throwback white on white. Everyone in the stands loved it, and we all vote for more of the same next year.

3. Florida St. play-by-play>Florida play-by-play.
One of the drawbacks of being able to go to the game and still be able to make it back for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra show in Birmingham on Saturday (which incidentally rocked my face off--completely off) was that I had to listen to all of the New Years Day bowl games on the radio. Lucky for me, both Florida and Florida St. were playing on Friday, so we could pick up the local radio stations on the way home. As we traveled up I-75, I noticed one thing from the afternoon to the night; the 'Noles' play-by-play announcer was significantly better than the Gators'. Florida State's Gene Deckerhoff presented the game in a way that was classy, informative, accurate, and colorful. On the other hand, "Oh my!" has to be the most contrived, obnoxious catch phrases I've ever heard in my life, and I know of some really awful catch-phrases. It's as if he heard Jim Fyffe yell "TOUCHDOWN AUBURN!"* and then sat down for several hours trying to come up with something as catchy, couldn't, finally gave up, and settled for "oh my". Whoopee. The Florida broadcast seemed amateurish (almost as much as this blog). I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, "That's enough Mick Hubert."

4. Ben Tate may lead a secret life as an Auburn basketball player.
The Auburn internets have been abuzz about the Ben Tate slam dunk after the touchdown, which theoretically cost Auburn 6 points at the other end. Most of the talk has been poo-pooing of Ben Tate for the "boneheaded" decision. I say, who cares? Sure, I don't want that to become an Auburn thing. Save that for "the U". But I refuse, as many people seem to want to do, to think of Ben Tate's last game at Auburn as "the one where that moron nearly cost us the game". I'm going to think of it as yet another 100 yard, 2 TD game to add to a career that stands out, even here at Running Back U. Sure I'd probably be singing a different tune if it had ended up costing us the game, but it didn't. I'm not concerned that it will become an issue, Chizik doesn't put up with that stuff. It was a one time thing, and ultimately didn't matter, except maybe to provide an exciting ending. Frankly, I'm more upset about him not covering up the ball a couple of drives later. And don't forget that he put us in position with 20 yards in overtime to make the field goal an easy pitching wedge for Wes. Honestly, I was more concerned about the form on the dunk. Weak sauce if you ask me. He probably does play for our roundball team. (sorry guys, had to make a little jab)

5. Caution: Floor may be slippery when wet.
For all the talk about the dunk, the best touchdown celebration of the day has been overlooked. After Todd's pass to Carr, Todd goes up for the flying air body bump (that's football jargon), but Carr busts his butt on the wet turf and slid under him. I, for one, think this is awesome, and should become the official Chizik era touchdown celebration, in lieu of the "lineman lifting running back" favorite of Tubby's tenure.

6. "Is it also pronounced 'Frodrick'?"
The best hangout in Tampa was Ybor City, site of the parade and pep rally and general festivities and such. However, I still have no idea how to pronounce the word. Was it Ibor or Ebor? Or maybe Wybor? Anyone?

7. The Florida Aquarium is a No Bone Zone.
You heard right. There are signs in the Florida Aquarium denoting the "No Bone Zone". I'll find pictures. So keep it PG when you go to Tampa, kids.

8. "They're real Cubans? They're human beings from Cuba?!"

I may have been the only person in the world that didn't realize how much Tampa was known for its cigars. There must have been 5 cigar shops for every non-cigar shop in Ybor (Ibor?) City. And they all rolled their own. It really is like a cigar aficionado's Mecca. Also, I'm fairly certain that there were, in fact, real Cubans making them. There were a few telltale signs. One roller was wearing a Cuban soccer jacket. One was talking excitedly about the prospect of Castro's totalitarian state falling to pieces after his death. And one was singing "Babalu" and was married to a loud redhead.**

9. It's not over 'till the fat lady sings. Twice. And then leaves the stage to go find a cheeseburger.
Just when you think it's OK to celebrate, a Big XII officiating crew comes in and bursts your bubble.*** That game was the craziest emotional roller coaster I've ever been on. Twice we blew 14 point leads, and twice the defense grabbed that last ledge before they fell completely off the cliff. By the end I was so ready for the game to be over, and it just wouldn't end. The air got completely let out of the Auburn section several times during the course of that wild game. The bad news is that I don't think I will be able for a long time to celebrate immediately after a game-ending play like that until I see the refs leaving the field.

10. A win is a win is a win. And a bowl win is damn sure a win.
It's been pretty well documented that with all the things coming before the final whistle, the celebration had a weird feeling, to say the least. I, for one, was just happy the game was over. Looking back, however, I see much more cause to celebrate. Because the bottom line is, they don't draw pictures on the scoreboard, and all the ugly things from that game have already gone away. My trip, although odd and often frustrating, couldn't have gone any better than leaving Tampa with the W and all the momentum we take into the off season. So bring on September!

*Still gives me chills just typing it. Miss ya, Jim.

**Oh come on. You know you love a good Lucy joke. It's such a hot show these days.

***I've had a lot to say about the officiating, but I want to make it clear that I do not blame the officials for the crazy nature of the game. They made the right calls for the most part, or as much as any other game. The penalty margin was only one of the bad breaks Auburn's defense caught, along with injuries, silly turnovers, our offenses inability during certain stretches of the game to stay on the field, Northwestern's receivers making every circus catch on every ball thrown their way and other such craziness. So I definitely don't blame the refs, but it just so happened that during the first two false start celebrations, they were the ones who had the duty of informing us it was wrong. It just stands out more in my memory. TIFWIW.

"Thank Goodness They Don't Draw Pictures on the Scoreboard...

2010-01-01T23:04:00.000-06:00

Because if they did, the Outback Bowl would probably look like this:"

This thought went through my head as the 'Cats somehow found a tenth life in Tampa today with a running into the kicker call. Fortunately, I don't play on Auburn's defense: the bruised and battered defense who most likely saw this picture when they looked at the scoreboard:

This would not have panned out well for the actual Charlie Brown, as that b!%^h Lucy most certainly would have pulled the ball out from under us again and it would have been first and goal at the 1 yard line. But the good news is, of all the Charlie Browns in the world Northwestern, it turns out, is the Charlie Browniest. Despite uncanny offensive numbers, a serious lack of officiating congruence (from where I was sitting at least), and a depleted Auburn defense, the bigger cats somehow came away victorious.

Big kudos to Northwestern, who played the game of their lives. I hope Gus was sitting there taking notes, because if you want to get more plays in, Northwestern will show you how to do it. Sure the calls didn't seem fair to Auburn, but that's not to take away from Northwestern at all. You play with the hand you're dealt, and Northwestern capitalized on every break they got, save the last one. That's more than you could say for a lot of Auburn teams in the past.

But as much as Northwestern deserves credit for playing out of their minds, and making the most of their opportunities, you have to give Auburn credit for playing until the final.... final.... final whistle. With all the breaks that didn't go their way they played their hearts out. And a lot of breaks didn't go Auburn's way today, especially for the defense. Already hurting from injuries, they had to deal with a penalty margin of 12-3 (and a disparity of nearly 100 yards), an offense that wouldn't give them a good rest, playing 115 snaps, and going through the mental stress of winning twice, only to find out they didn't win twice. All that would have been more than enough reason to pack it in. But that's not what this Auburn team does. So they Did What They Do, and Nieko comes up with a HUGE play, and Auburn wins.

So it certainly wasn't pretty, but in the end, they don't draw pictures on the scoreboard. And a win is a win is a win. And a bowl win is damn sure a win.

WAR DAMN EAGLE

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T00:43:00.000-06:00

Since I've been on a real Beatles kick lately, here is some Beatles and Beatles-related Christmas music. Hopefully I'll be back before New Years with some real posts with more than just videos. But till then, the people in Section 25 wish you "a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let's hope it's a good one; without any [preseason injuries or coaches lost to other jobs or signing day disappointments or losses or bammer wins or] fear!"

Let Me See Ya Tiger Walk!

2009-12-24T02:12:00.000-06:00

The Auburn response to "Eric Berry Rap???" You decide.

*Probably not as funny (no dancing girls and awkward looking football player), and less Tennessee-ish (more team centered and less individual). Still. Powerful, powerful stuff there.

War Damn Sarah Marshall

2009-12-14T22:43:00.000-06:00

Just saw this on CBS, went to my computer to post something about it, and TheAuburner beat me to it. Freaking Mark.

Nothing Really Matters

2009-12-05T19:09:00.000-06:00

In the spirit upon which this blog was founded, and since there's no important developments in college football today, here's something completely different.

It's Business Time

2009-11-27T01:35:00.000-06:00

Football season is the most fun time of the year. There's nothing I look forward to more than going to Jordan-Hare Stadium after a long day of tailgating. Win or lose, me, my friends, my date, and 87,000 others all get loud and spend our Saturday the most fun way we know how; cheering on the Tigers with everything we've got. And I love it.

But not tomorrow. Not the Alabama game. It's like work, but worse. Even during the peak of the streak, years when Auburn was favored by a healthy enough margin to feel confident, the nerves were still there. For one day in November every year, my nails get chewed down to the quick, every halftime I pace a trench into the concourse behind the concession stand. Every year, my Dad threatens to go see a movie, and I threaten to go with him.

But when we win, the celebration is all worth it. So we're in the stands or in front of the TV every year, just like you. Because we know what the stakes are this week. Not title hopes, not awards, but pride.

So let's get down to business.

Let's do what we do.

BEAT BAMA!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!!

'Nuff said.

The people of Section 25 fill their hearts with hate

2009-11-24T12:41:00.000-06:00

Chizik and Saban?

There's a lot of TV/movie references floating around the Auburn internets (see: The Auburner, The Pathos, War Blog Eagle).

I figured I'd join the fun with the obligatory 300 (click it).

Hopelessly outnumbered? Check. Most likely facing defeat? Check. Walking steadfast into the slaughter? Check.

The Bama game is upon us, and talk sounds a lot like it did at this time last year, most of it to the effect of "Auburn won't win". But the feeling is different this year. The season has been a success and the future certainly seems clearer and brighter than it did last Thanksgiving. Things may not work out on Friday; we might lose that battle, but if we do, I feel confident that unlike last year we are going down swinging. If they must, the boys in blue are going down like Auburn men, fighting that hated foe with every last ounce of their being. And maybe-just maybe-the "impossible" will happen.

I post this in the hopes that in one year's time*, this 300/ Thermopylae reference will be completed.

Give thanks men! For Chizik and his brave 75! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!

*But preferably on Friday.

2009-11-15T03:29:00.000-06:00

3:00 AM: Just got back on the plains from Athens. Full thoughts coming soon.

Last Minute Prediction: Read at Own Risk of Lowered I.Q.

2009-11-13T16:03:00.000-06:00

I'm on my way out the door to Athens. We're gonna need this one to fill our New Years Day plans. I should have learned my lesson about predictions, but I'm going to take the leap here:

AUBURN 31 uga 24

WAR DAMN EAGLE! LET'S DWWD!

Veterans Day

2009-11-11T16:39:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all our men and women of the armed forces. Without you, I can't rant, rave, and make rediculous observations with the freedom I have today.

We here in Section 25 have a suggestion for New Years plans...

2009-11-11T02:42:00.000-06:00

Other than any BCS Bowl, this is the best option by my book. The first Cotton Bowl in Cowboy Stadium sounds like a blast. Even if by some miracle we win this weekend AND in a couple of weeks, I'd rather take the Cotton Bowl than Capital One (doubtful that would happen anyway).

But we MUST win this weekend. So lets take care of business in Athens so I can grab a hotel in Arlington. Sound good? Good.

WDE

BOOM!

2009-10-31T18:23:00.000-05:00

Chizzed on.

33-20.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2009-10-29T14:15:00.000-05:00

So it's been a couple of weeks since I've made a post. That annoying school thing has gotten in the way again. Apologies all around. A lot has changed since my last post. Well, not including the egg-on-my-face post. Things are about the same since the egg-on-my-face post.

I've learned my lesson about predictions though, and that lesson is "don't make predictions". I still think that, based on the facts that I saw, I made a good prediction. It was based on the idea that our offense was a force to be reckoned with. Even in the second half of the Arkansas game, the offense showed that it could be very explosive. Unfortunately, college football has a certain unique way of surprising you and defying expectations. That's probably why I love it so much.

Somewhere on the road from Knoxville to Fayetteville the Gus Bus blew a tire and by the time it limped into Auburn for the Kentucky game, the wheels fell off. What happened over the last few weeks? The most likely answer is also the most frustrating one. The personnel aren't yet in place to take this offense to a level where it can perform consistently against SEC caliber defenses. Chris Todd's arm is certainly not helping matters. And everyone knows that once the medium to deep passing threat is taken out of this offense, (or any offense really) the running game becomes mostly easy to defend. Seven or eight men in the box later, and we're left with virtually no offense.

The good news is, this is not 2008. And as I mentioned before, making predictions is no good. We know the offense is capable of being great. It may be that Gus is one adjustment away from getting the Bus back up and running. Ultimately, either way this season goes, we are making steps in the right direction. I hate to say it, but it is a process, aight?

The only thing we can do now is what everyone from Jay to SGA President Watkins said we should do: pull together and show support for this Auburn team. That means no boo birds. We need to step up and be the 12th man on Saturday, because let's face it, this team needs all the depth it can get.

War Damn Eagle! Let's beat the Rebels!

2009-10-17T22:22:00.000-05:00

Woah! We're halfway there!

2009-10-13T23:01:00.000-05:00

The alarm clock on my phone rang out. I groped around my bedside table and shut it off. I glanced at the woman next to me, trying to remember her name. Stumbling over beer bottles, eyes filled with the drowsiness of the long night before, I drug myself out of bed. The creak from the door echoed like a cannon in my ears, the light coming in from the window blinding me. I trudged into the sitting room of my hotel suite and threw myself onto the couch, knocking the pizza boxes out of may way. My roomates were still passed out in the floor, bottles of Jack still in hand, one with his pants around his ankles. Why? I couldn't tell you. I glanced at the clock. 10:55. Entirely too early. How could anyone get up this early on a Saturday? I grabbed the remote for the TV, which had been left on the night before. I flipped around and found ESPN. They were just finishing up their picks on Gameday.....

GAMEDAY! HOLY S#!T! Auburn has a football game in 5 minutes! We'd better get ready.

And that's how the Auburn football team started their day on Saturday, or at least I wouldn't be really surprised if someone were to tell me that. By the time they got good and awake, the score was 34-3, and the game was as good as over. As it was, the above story was more like my own Saturday morning. Except for the crazy night before. And the fancy hotel. And the girl. I live a sad life.

After the initial embarassment of the game faded away, I came to realize that I'm not all that upset. Sure the loss hurts, and so does the fashion in which it came. But then I took a step back. We are 5-1, most likely 6-1 going into the LSU game. Had anyone said 7 weeks ago that we would have one loss at this point, I'd take it in a heartbeat. I also never would have guessed that I'd be this confident going into the second half of the season. I am going to make a bold prediction right now. Auburn should be a 10-1 team going into the Bammer game.

You might say I'm drinking the kool-aid, and viewing the world through my orange and blue glasses. But hear me out. In my opinion, the only team that we should lose to is a team with a strong offense. Our offense had a truly HORRENDOUS day on Saturday, and still managed to put up 23 points. So even if the offense comes out flat, and plays that way for an entire half, if the other team can't put up a substantial total on the scoreboard, we've still got a great chance of winning.

Let's take a look at the biggest challenges remaining on the schedule. The next big threat is LSU. Frankly, the only thing that scares me about this team is the fact that we have to play in Death Valley at night. But we've seen that Auburn can respond well to the intense, hostile environments this league can throw at you. LSU's offense gives Tennessee's a run for it's money in ineptitude. The only reason they don't have a 3-3 record at this point is MSU's quarterback's lack of awareness of how to score a touchdown, and a rediculous celebration penalty that never should have been called. I feel Auburn's losing streak in Baton Rouge drawing to a close in a narrow victory.

Ole Miss just has not impressed on any front this year. Their defense is solid, but Jevan Snead may have been the most overrated quarterback in history at the beginning of the year. He crumbles under any kind of pressure. If we can get any semblance of pressure against him, this game will be over. Their defense can't keep Todd & Co. out of the endzone as often as they'll need to win.

The only other threat on the schedule is Georgia, whose defense is probably worse than ours, and their offense has been inconsistent at best.

Bama is a different story. There may not be another team as well rounded as them in the whole league. Florida included. If there's one team on the schedule that I think "should" beat our Tigers, it's them.* But I will reserve my prediction on that for another time.

The point I'm making is that, on paper, Auburn should win it's next 5 games. Then again, Auburn should have won on Saturday. On any one of those five games, Auburn could very well come out half awake again, and drop a loss somewhere we shouldn't. Only time will tell. But right now, I feel like it will tell us something we want to hear. Keep the faith Auburn people! We're only halfway there!

*It hurts me to say that. Really it does. But I can't in all honesty say they haven't impressed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash out my own mouth with soap. And yes, I will be using Lifebuoy.

Hell no! We won't... not walk!!

2009-09-30T21:29:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard, UT has "canceled" the Tiger Walk for Saturday. Apparently, it's a safety issue for the fans. I say NO! I'll bet Coach Chizik and the team see this for what it really is: IMPOSTOR! Kiffykins has played his mind games before, as I'm sure you all remember, against Florida ("...singing Rocky Top all night long..." bla bla bla, LOSS). Of course, Hello Kiffin explained it all away after the game saying it was to take the pressure off the team. Maybe it did. But the bottom line is that the Auburn football team is not susceptible to such ploys. Chris Todd will simply fire a few mind bullets in the direction of Kiffin and all will be well, so I'm not worried about any effect on the team.

But for me, the fan, it gets me mad. Scenario: School A invents tradition. School B rips off tradition. School B doesn't allow School A to continue tradition, but proceeds with it themselves.

" "In 2004 when the Tigers played here, we had approximately 5,000 fans show up with the band and the cheerleaders, which was a great atmosphere, but a huge safety issue for the student-athletes, band and cheerleaders and fans because of the tight space," said a Tennessee spokesperson."

Sounds to me like someones a little jealous that even though it's an away game, 5,000 showed up to show Tennessee how to walk the Walk.

So I'm going to be there on Saturday to support the team. Word on the skreet--that's how the hip kids say it, skreet--is that the Tiger Walk is ON for around 5:00 on Saturday! (I'll post any updates I hear on that here.) So be there to show the team that we're behind them, whether Tennessee likes it, or not!

War Damn Tiger Walk, and WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

IIIIIII wanna knooow.....

2009-09-21T15:07:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in the world, a lesser fan, sitting on his couch waiting for the last games of the day to get started said to himself, "well that rainstorm down in Auburn will just kill the atmosphere of that game. I'll bet this will really play into West Virginia's hands and take the crowd out of the game." But somewhere in section 25--and 26, and 27, and all the way back to section 18--15,000 Auburn students showed how much they really do believe in Auburn. It started with just a few drops, but our spirits never dampened. And when the bottom really dropped out, that only fueled the party. It seemed like it would never stop, but no one left. And the harder it rained, the louder that student section got.

Meanwhile, 72,000 older, and more sane Auburn fans, rode the storm out in the jammed but dry concourses under the stadium. Some had four or even six hour drives to make after the game ended, but they toughed it out.

And when the team finally took the field, imagine how they felt when they looked up and saw all 87,451, still there, still loud, still pulling for their Tigers. Coach Chizik knows what that meant to the team and said he wished there were 87,000 game balls to hand out.

That was absolutely the most fun I've had as a student since the 2006 Florida game. When the game finally got underway, it was every bit as dramatic as the pregame. When the Auburn D came out flat in the first quarter, we were stunned and worried. Is this what we waited an hour in a hurricane for? Surely this team wasn't going to lay down and give up like last years team. Of course they won't! So we stuck around a little longer, and Chizik, Malzahn, and the boys in navy blue and burnt orange gave us a better reason to believe than they'd given us the two weeks before--or all offseason--that this was a different Auburn team from last year. They showed toughness. They did not say, "here we go again" and accept defeat. And for three and a half quarters, they fought back.

It wasn't always pretty. Noel Devine, Jarrett Brown and an excellent Mountaineer gameplan picked out our weaknesses, exploited them, and hit us in the mouth early. And they continued to land blows until the third quarter. But the team didn't back down. Eventually, the pressure on Brown forced him into mistakes. And Auburn capitalized.

The West F Virginia defense also played a great game, taking away Malzahn's/Auburn's beloved running game. How did the Tigers respond? Instead of doing what last year's staff called "sticking to the gameplan", Auburn took what the defense gave us, and put it in the air. WFVU dared us to beat them through the air, and in several pressure filled drives where everyone was saying "this drive is critical" Todd and the Tigers delivered.

In the end, we got beat in the X's and O's department. We were out-gained by 100 yards. But when it counted, Auburn made their own luck, and showed guts, toughness, and resolve. And that's a bigger reason to believe in this Auburn team than any other.

So bring on the rain! It may not turn out as a win every time, but I know that Auburn is going to stick it out and leave it all in the stadium on gameday; in the stands AND on the field, and that makes me damn proud to be an Auburn Tiger.

WFVU!!!

2009-09-16T21:40:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the class of the college football world:

Ok, maybe that's not fair. One guy in a WFV t-shirt with a mullett doesn't represent the fanbase. He probably had that specially made for him one night when he was drunk.

Oh, well you know, perhaps that wasn't fair either. Every fanbase has a few crazies, right? I'm sure these guys are just the exception to the rule.

Hmm, I suppose everyone gets a little crazy on game weekend, when they get a little Milwaukee's Best in them, don't they? Sure they do! I'm sure West Virginian's aren't like that all the time.

Well come on! There's not even any evidence that any of these people are even West Virginia fans. I've never even been to West Virginia. I must just be a little bitter about last year's unfortunate football game where West Virginia team beat a divided, demoralized, hopeless Auburn football team with a stagnant offense and a fading defense last year.

Surely no one else would draw similar conclusions who have actually been there, would they?

I'm sure that everyone associated with WVU are honest, wholesome people.

"If he wanted to keep his money, he shouldn'ta made it rain!"

So let's go out, have a fun, sportsmanlike game on Saturday night, and GET SOME SWEET, SWEET REVENGE! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!

*stoptherunplzthx

Predictions!

2009-09-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

Auburn comes in and puts up another solid all-around showing and wins 35-13.

What say ye?

Also, for your viewing pleasure:

Get pumped up for some football!! WAR DAMN EAGLE!

La. Tech Thoughts

2009-09-06T03:38:00.000-05:00

And so, tonight I once again find myself amongst the sunshine pumpers. Perhaps its just because of what we've gotten used to seeing over the past couple of years that has me spewing hope and happiness and rainbows and unicorns, but dangit I feel better about this year. 556 yards of offense can do that to a fan of a team that hasn't seen a really competent offense since 2005. On Saturday, Auburn showed that competency with a balanced offensive attack and a dominating defense.

Offense: A renewed Chris Todd captained an Auburn offense that was fun to watch. The buzz has been about Todd connecting with Terrell Zachary for the longest play in Auburn history. That's a testament to great play-calling by Arthur Gustav Malzahn III more than it is about Todd's improvement from last year to this. If you want to see the proof that Todd is becoming the same quarterback that he was always supposed to be, look no further than his 17 yard touchdown pass to Darvin Adams at the back pylon. Old Chris Todd would've floated that up for a pick. New Chris Todd dropped that pass in where no one in the stadium but Darvin could have caught it. A young receiving corp showed why Trooper has been raving for the past month. I'm excited about our passing game. As for the running game:

What can you say about Onterio McCalebb? A huge game for him that could be a testament of great things to come. I doubt he will have the same numbers against SEC caliber defensive speed, but I'm excited nonetheless to see what he can do. I think it will be a lot. Combine his "lightning" with Ben Tate's "thunder" and Auburn can have a very effective running game this season.*

There is certainly room for improvement for the offense, especially in the way of turnovers, but I expect those things to work out (or for the coaches to work it out of them) in the next week or so.

Defense: La. Tech never really was able to move the ball on the Auburn defense all night. The only touchdown drive was due to two long penalties that CGC attributed to effort. If these penalties aren't called, and the offense doesn't turn the ball over, the final could easily have been 51-6. But if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, I'd have one heck of a stomachache at the moment.

As it was, the defense played very well, especially considering the depth issues on that side of the ball. Eltoro Freeman and Nosa Eguae were both held out due to injury. Freshman Daren Bates and Sophomore Nick Fairley had huge games and showed why they earned starting jobs. And although the inexperience was exposed once or twice, the overall performance of the defense was great. Expect big things from them this year.

Wildcat: "Kodi Burns is an Auburn man." You heard it, and now you've seen the proof. Kodi stepped up and showed great maturity when he was moved to WR this summer. He made sure that his number one priority was the unity of the team, and doing everything he could to help Auburn win games. How did the coaching staff reward him? With nothing less than a significant role in the offense and the first touchdown of the season. Recruits, take note: if Gene Chizik says you will help the Tigers win, you will help the Tigers win. 10 points to Chizik and 10 points to Kodi. I got the feeling that the Wildtiger/eagle/plainsman was relatively vanilla on Saturday, so look out whenever it goes into overdrive.

La. Tech: The only thing I have to say about La. Tech is a quick comment on their fanbase. On the way to the game I was accosted by several La. Tech fans. I was a little stunned by this, so I just ignored them really. I've seen Auburn play many a game against La. Tech and have always found them to be a classy bunch of people. They enjoy the game, cheer hard, and will shake your hand after the game. This is not an indictment on La. Tech as a whole, but really just this one group of douche bags. So -10 points to douche bags, and 10 points to La. Tech fanbase that it's taken me this long to find any. Usually you find one on your first meeting with a team.

Overall: Look out. This Auburn team was NOT clicking on all cylinders on Saturday (see busted routes/turnovers/ penalties). It was NOT healthy (see Freeman/Eguae). Yet it still took care of business in a convincing fashion. Sure, not every team we play is a WAC team, but when things start clicking at 100%, this team is going to be pretty darn good. I can't wait till Saturday!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

*On a recruiting note, and as far as the McCalebbs are concerned, word on the skreet was that Onterio's younger brother attended Saturday's game, and that he is even faster than Onterio. Awesome.

TROOPER!

2009-09-03T01:06:00.000-05:00

I just heard today that Trooper Taylor will be speaking at the pep rally on Friday night at Toomer's Corner. This calls for a CELEBRATORY CHEST BUMP!!!

PEP-RALLY!!

(Just imagine a less vomity colored orange)

I usually don't attend the pep-rallies, but I think this week I'm going to have to make an exception. I'd like to get a little taste of what the players get on a weekly basis. I would advise everyone in town to check it out. It starts around 6:00.

THREE MORE DAYS! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!

Game Week

2009-08-30T16:25:00.001-05:00

It's finally here. After 40 weeks of endless waiting, game week is upon us. That means three more days until the first tailgaters show up. Four days until the first college football game of the year. Five days until the party gets started. Saturday is THIS close. I can smell it. I can feel it in the air. Six days until the boys in blue take the field again. Get pumped up.

War Damn Eagle

The General

2009-08-15T11:46:00.000-05:00

The leader of this team has been chosen. There really isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. I was suprised by this move, but my faith is with the coaches, and Todd. As Grotus' Acorn points out, if Tubbs, Franklin, Leach, and the honorable Arthur Gustav Malzahn III have all seen the healthy Chris Todd and come to the same conclusion ("OMG i wanna have his babies!") then who am I to question this? Someone who's knowledge of college football is apparently not worth several million dollars, that's who.

So, in conclusion, WAR DAMN CHRIS TODD!

Also, Kodi Burns is the man. That is all.

An Open Letter to Kirk Herbstreit

2009-08-05T16:48:00.000-05:00

Dear Kirk,

I don't like you very much. It might be your smarmy attitude. Or your endless Ohio St. homerism. I'm not really sure. It's not a real hate or anything sinister like that. Just a general feeling of dislike. It may not even be your fault. It might be something you can't control. Maybe it's your face. I really can't say why, but whenever I see you, I really want to punch you right in your mouth.

That being said, I watched College Football Live today to see if our first day of practice would be mentioned, and guess who shows up? That's right, you. Once I put my TV back up on its stand (from kicking it off when you came on, of course) I decided I'd show some maturity and watch anyway. Sure enough, after a few minutes there was a segment on new head football coach Gene Chizik. In this segment, you (or whoever your boss is) decided to run that now infamous clip of the "Auburn fan" heckling Jay Jacobs when he landed in Auburn. Unfortunately, during the time when the events shown on College Football Live today took place, my blog was not up and running, so I could not express my opinion on the matter in a public forum. I decided that now is as good a time as any to write this open letter to you and make my opinion known.

Now, having said that I do not like you much, I must take this opportunity to say that I agreed with your sentiments on the show this afternoon (it's not unprecedented, you do say rational things from time to time, and are generally professional, so, uh, kudos). You said that this "fan" should be embarrassed, and I wholeheartedly agree. Kirk, I have been an Auburn fan since before I was born. I attended my first Auburn football game when I was half a year old. I am a third generation Auburn student and have been surrounded by Auburn people my whole life. Let me say now that whoever made that video and put it on the internet (which really just made him look foolish, not Jay Jacobs) is NOT an Auburn man. Auburn people may not have thought Coach Chizik the best choice at the time, but regardless, we made the decision as true Auburn people to get behind our coach, because that's what Auburn is about*.

Kirk, shortly after that video was made, there was a similar one filmed in the very same place. However, this one had a few subtle differences that I would like to point out. First of all, instead of one person shouting at the arriving plane, there were many (let me also point out that they were sober). The other difference is that these were Auburn people, not whatever that other sorry excuse for a fan is. The result was a much different video that, for whatever reason Kirk, you did not show on your show today.

So Kirk, the next time you show your face (dang, I just wanna deliver one of these right to your suck hole) and mention this particular occurrence, please be sure to mention that the overwhelming majority of Auburn people are like those who showed up in the video posted here, not the one you showed on ESPN. Because compared to these people, the clown that came to heckle Jay Jacobs really is just insignificant.

Sincerely,

Chris in Section 25

*PS: If you want to know how we feel about choosing to support the Coach Chizik right about now, I think this generally sums up our feelings toward Chizik to this point.

PPS: Ohio State blows! Ha!

Seven Years of Drought

2009-08-05T16:28:00.000-05:00

This is the image my mind always conjures when I hear "August".

And so we come to the longest month of the year. Football is so close. But so far away. So as the boys in blue open practice today, take heart in knowing that after this drought, there will be seven years of plenty.... or at least 14 weeks of plenty of college football.

Hang in there, Auburn! Four and a half weeks!

Imaginary Interview: Antonio Coleman

2009-07-21T23:29:00.000-05:00

"The power! I feel the power!"

SECTION 25: Welcome to another installment of Section 25's series of interviews; informative, fascinating, interesting, fictional, non-existent, imaginary interviews.

Today, we have the pleasure of meeting with Auburn's Senior DE Antonio Coleman. Antonio is second-team pre-season All-SEC, and a noted scholar in areas that are generally reserved for totalitarian dictators. Hi Antonio, good to have you with us today.

ANTONIO COLEMAN: Good evening.

S25: I know you've got a lot on your plate, so we won't take too long. I know you've got to be in Birmingham at SEC Media Days soon. Are you excited about going?

AC: Excited? No. I do not permit myself to become excited. Such emotions jeopardize my abilities to make the cold, calculated decisions that are necessary to destroy my enemies.

S25: Wow, you really do take your job seriously. But I could swear I've seen you celebrating and displaying emotion on the field. How do you explain this:

AC: Chris! Your naivety amuses me. That so-called "emotion" was nothing more than a calculated display of bravado. It is merely a gesture to make known the extent of my abilities. To remind my enemies that I will be victorious. This instills a certain fear into their hearts which is beneficial to my ends.

S25: OK. Is it just me or did some of the happiness just leave the room? Anyway, Auburn is preparing to play against one of the tougher schedules in the nation. Being a senior, you've seen a lot of the tougher venues this conference has to offer. How are you preparing to deal with some of the more intense environments in college football including Neyland, Sanford, and Tiger Stadium?

AC: I have no fear of playing on my enemies' grounds. Allow me to illustrate. Few people know the true reason Auburn did not attend a bowl game this past year. I had become bored with football and sought new enemies. Therefore I decided that I must test my mettle against a new foe, but with a bowl on the schedule, I had not the time. Thus, through cunning means, I arranged the self-destruction of the football team. I then single-handedly started, fought, and won a ground war in Russia... in January.

So no, I do not fear these battlegrounds. In fact, "Death Valley" seems a pleasant place for a vacation. I must look into it.

S25: Well, I certainly feel much better about the outcome of last season now, although I would have thought I'd have heard something about that Russia thing in the news. When we spoke to Mario, he said he really liked playing for the new coaching staff. He seems to have taken the transition very well. How have you handled the transition, and do you enjoy playing under Coach Chizik?

AC: I am disappointed in you, Chris. I would have thought you had learned by now that not only have I handled this transition well, I also, shall we say, helped Mr. Jacobs along in his decision. You are not a quick learner. Perhaps I am treating you too softly and should teach you with a firmer hand in the future?

S25: Uh, no no. Of course not. So you do like Coach Chizik then?

AC: Coach Chizik has proven to be useful to me. But surely by now you've guessed my plan! Surely the genius of it is obvious to you! Coach Chizik will be around long enough to ensure that I am in the right position. And then, when the time is right, his position shall be MINE! BWAHAHAHA!

S25: Well, there you have it, folks! Antonio Coleman's quest for power knows no bounds. It appears he will not stop until he has the Auburn Football team under his command. If that ever happens, God help us. God help us all.

Join us next time for a joint interview with Kodi Burns and Neil Caudle.

Imaginary Interview: Mario Fannin

2009-07-10T13:28:00.000-05:00

As we've passed the halfway point of summer classes, the attention of my fellow students and I turns toward the approaching football season. With August and fall practice approaching, many of my fellow blAUgers have taken to previewing the season and the team in many ways; game previews, incoming player profiles, etc... We here in Section 25 have decided to use our unique position to provide you, our faithful reader with something you can't find anywhere else; exclusive, personal interviews with coaches and players. Not only will these interviews be informative, interesting, and exclusive, but they will also be complete figments of our imaginations. So without further ado, here is the first in a series of Imaginary Interviews.

SECTION 25: Hi, and welcome to the first Imaginary Interview. Please, introduce yourself to our audience.

MARIO FANNIN: It's-a me! Mario!!

S25: Haha! Classic, classic. We knew you were a great football player, but I had no idea you had such a great sense of humor.

MF: Ho ho!

S25: Fantastic. So tell us Mario, how has your summer been?

MF: It's-a been-a good. We've-a been spendin a lotta time in-a the weight room. I feel like-a its-a been really productive.

S25: Umm, right. So tell us some about your workout routine. I expect it's a grueling schedule.

MF: It can-a be difficult. I like-a to run in-a the morning. I get outta my apartament, and I like-a to run on-a campus through the "Chilled-a Water Plant" on-a Duncan Drive. You know, right-a by the stadium!

S25: Wait, is that the one with all those big green pipes inside?

MF: Yes! You see, what I like-a to do is...

S25: Ok, I think I see where this is going. Moving on. Tell us what you think of new RB coach Curtis Luper.

MF: I really like-a him. He knows-a how to explain things to me. Like-a for example, he-a tells me to picture a giant-a turtle-like creature who has kidnapped-a my girlfriend standing in-a the endzone, and that-a really helps me to visualize-a my goal.

S25: Ok, Mario, you realize that just because your name is Mario doesn't make you the video game character, right? You're not even Italian.

MF: A-beep a de bop a de!

S25: What does that even mean?

MF: Oh look-a outta the window! A mushroom!

S25: Huh?

MF: [running out the door, presumably after a mushroom] I'm-a comin-a Peach!

S25: Well... uh... that was certainly an interesting first installment of Imaginary Interviews. Join us next time when our guest will be Defensive End Antonio Coleman.

Something Interesting... AND Football Relevant!

2009-06-23T22:33:00.000-05:00

So I've stumbled across some interesting information. I was at home for Dad's day the other weekend and in some down time I picked up one of our books regarding the 2004 football season. It took every game, includes a couple of articles from Inside the Auburn Tigers Magazine, and a number of pictures. It also included stats from every game. After about halfway through the season, I realized a surprising trend. Now it may be old news to some, or unsurprising to others, but here is what I discovered.

LA. MONROE:

Rushing Yards: 194

Passing Yards: 186

MISSISSIPPI STATE:

Rushing Yards: 283

Passing Yards: 182

LSU:

Rushing Yards: 131

Passing Yards: 170

CITADEL:

Rushing Yards: 234

Passing Yards: 359

TENNESSEE:

Rushing Yards: 107

Passing Yards: 186

LA. TECH:

Rushing Yards: 198

Passing Yards: 274

ARKANSAS:

Rushing Yards:225

Passing Yards: 297

KENTUCKY:

Rushing Yards: 210

Passing Yards: 127

OLE MISS:

Rushing Yards: 205

Passing Yards: 234

GEORGIA:

Rushing Yards: 186

Passing Yards: 218

ALABAMA:

Rushing Yards: 74

Passing Yards: 224

TENNESSEE (SEC Championship Game):

Rushing Yards: 185

Passing Yards: 374

VA. TECH:

Rushing Yards: 110

Passing Yards: 189

SEASON TOTALS:

Rushing Yards: 2342

Passing Yards: 3020

I was really surprised to see how often we passed for more yards than we rushed. For whatever reason I remember the thunder and lightning combo of Brown and Cadillac more than I do Campbell's passing.

We talk a lot around here about the running game, and how Auburn isn't Auburn without a running game, and I certainly agree. I've always been a traditional, conservative type of guy with a three yards and a cloud of dust mentality. Heck, even playing NCAA on the Xbox machine I have to run the ball. People get annoyed that I can't rear back and heave the ball even in a video game, but in my mind, it's just not right. But this just goes to show that no matter how good your running game is, in this day and age, there is NO substitute for a talented, experienced quarterback who can throw the ball; cool under pressure, a decision maker. And Auburn is no exception.

We can, and I believe should build our offense around the running game. But the quarterback will make or break this team.

Back on the Plains

2009-06-16T22:58:00.001-05:00

So I've been out of the loop and off the radar for about a week now. I've been in New York City for the first time for the past week or so. I've got to get reacquainted with what all's going on around here and then I'll post something really thought provoking and deep... or totally lame. I blog, you decide.

In the meantime, enjoy these pics of the city.

Numbers of the Day

2009-06-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

Today's post on "Somewhere in Section 25" is brought to you by the numbers:

2: The number of Auburn's ranking in US News and World Report's ranking of the best cities to live in in the US. To tell the truth, I think we got jipped. Albuquerque? I've never really heard anything good about New Mexico, except that there's some mediocre skiing. As far as I knew the only thing of real importance that's happened in Albuquerque was that Bugs Bunny took a wrong turn there once or twice. Of course, that is an admittedly bold statement coming from someone in Alabama. And I never have been to Albuquerque, so my opinion isn't really that informed. Nonetheless, I happen to be of the totally unbiased opinion that Auburn is the greatest place in the world. Congrats to whomever congrats need to go to for this fantastic piece of positive publicity for The Loveliest Village (City Counsel? Mayor? Regardless, great work!).

And

200: The number of students allegedly involved in Textbookgate, according to Kevin Scarbinsky. Now, while the talk around the AU campus throughout this whole deal has been "oh wow, that's a huge deal" I'd like to remind anyone thinking that this is the Albert Means case again that it's not. Of those 200, the vast vast majority of the people involved did not realize they were breaking a rule, and of all the athletes involved, there are less football players involved than any other Bammer sports program. Not to mention the fact that a couple of textbooks probably aren't going to sway the minds of recruits as Bammer points out in their letter to the NCAA ("minimal if any competitive advantage"). I don't know of any recruit that's going to say, "Alright! If I go to Bama, I could make a few extra bucks on my books every semester," especially if the Escalade didn't convince them to go (ZING!).

That being said: TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE! WTF, BAMA? For a program that was supposed to be on lockdown--and I mean LOCKDOWN--that's a definite "Lack of Institutional Control" if I've ever heard it. The nature of the offense itself really wasn't that bad, but the fact that it was so widespread sure is, especially for an athletics program that's still on the probation period.

It was my belief that if Dad catches you with your hand in the cookie jar and whups you, you don't turn around and go back to the cookie jar two hundred more times. At least not while Dad is still standing in the kitchen, watching that jar of cookies right after he caught you.

That just seems a little thick. The smoke never really had cleared from the whole Albert Means thing, but it seems like the Bammer Administration just kinda let the whole textbook thing go. I'm just at a loss at the whole thing. Oh well, their pain is my entertainment.

Related To: Nothing

2009-06-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

Just plain funny. I couldn't decide how to caption this. So I'm gonna go a few directions with it. All at the same time. Freak your mind.

Pooh Fail

"Hm, I guess the Bahr really wasn't a genius"

Bear Cub=Auburn ; Feeder=Tony Franklin

I like that last one. Despite all the pain that feeder caused us, we still haven't gotten it off our head.

I really am pleased with myself for that one. I'm treating myself to some Mama G's.

Full bear cub story for the incurably curious hyeah.

Prayers for Coach Quick

2009-06-05T10:37:00.000-05:00

I found this on Beaver's blog this morning, and thought I'd pass it along. For those of you who don't know, Coach Richard Quick of the Auburn swim team was diagnosed at the end of last year with an inoperable brain tumor. This was released by Coach Quick's family yesterday:

We ask for your prayers of peace, comfort and safety. We are preparing to
take Richard home to Austin. He has yet to respond to treatment. We will leave
by ambulance Friday or Saturday and take him to Querencia, a skilled nursing
facility in Austin since he can't take his medicines orally anymore. We have
heavy hearts and rely on thr Lord to carry us on this part of our journey. May
we all find the peace that goes beyond understanding. "Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your
hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 May the Lord hear our cries
and fulfill the promise of John 14;27, Love June and Richard

Coach Quick coached at Auburn for the past two years, in addition to the four years he coached here from 1978-1982. He and Co-Head Coach Brett Hawke earned Coach of the Year honors this year after his Auburn team won him his record 13th National Championship.

Our prayers are with you, Coach. War Eagle.

Thoughts on Big Cat Weekend: For Reals

2009-06-02T20:04:00.000-05:00

About the other day's post. When I read the quote about "Extreme Recruiting" I immediately thought of that Powerthirst thing, and I got this mental image in my head of Gene Chizik screaming at recruits in order to be more "extreme". So my apology for leaning on the all caps button and the exclamation points, but it was amusing, at least for myself.

But I digresserize. You all know my thoughts on recruiting hype, especially at this time of the year. However, much like the Tiger Prowl, the story got too big on these internets to ignore, especially at this time of the year. So I'm going to try and comment on it focusing on the staff side of things. I don't really care which recruit said what (although the little "tell Nick Saban he SOL" thing was awesome). It's a long long loooong way to February, and at the moment, we don't have any of these guys coming out with a strong verbal. And even if we did, these are 17 year olds we're talking about here. Indecisiveness comes with the territory, not to mention the million other factors that can influence these guys from here 'till February.

As far as the staff goes, I am excited. This staff is taking the recruiting gap very seriously, and that is certainly step one for any new coaching staff. Not to mention the fact that they are looking at it from a different angle. The Tiger Prowl and Big Cat Weekend are two things the likes of which have never happened here on the plains. Without a doubt it's more flashy and in-your-face (EXTREME!!) than anything else we've done here during the off-season. And so far* it seems to be working. There is more talk about Auburn recruiting since.... well since as long as I can remember.

I know that at least one time this year you've pictured Tubs & Co. getting in a piAUmped out limo and cruising the state and laughed. Possibly out loud. I have. In the middle of class. It was embarrassing.

Tubs & Co. were set on going out and getting guys who they said fit the Auburn mold which is, in theory, perfectly ok. However, as Jerry points out their best players were all big name recruits, and Auburn played its best football when we had a number of experienced big name recruits (i.e. Carnell, Campbell, Aromashadu, Obamanu). I feel like this staff is dedicated to getting their man just as much as the last one. This staff's vision of the Auburn mold just includes the types of guys that are high up on the rankings.

The point I'm getting at here is, Chizik and his staff of super recruiters are not going about the off-season the way Tubs' staff did, they're trying to make as much noise in the recruiting world as possible. And that's everything we've asked of them. That's what they were hired for. Chizik didn't hire this staff to go out and recruit a bunch of three-stars and hope to turn them into great players. You put together this group of coaches to go out and get the cream of the talent crop, which is something we haven't made an important goal in a while--perhaps too long.

And that's what this whole post boils down to. This is an off-season mid-term grade for Chizik and his staff. In my eyes they get an A++++ (a-la "A Christmas Story"). They salvaged a great class after the post-season coaching/bad publicity debacle. They were quiet when they needed to be quiet, and they've made noise in a great way. However, coaches, as I'm sure you all read SIS25 regularly, be careful! We still have three months before the off-season ends, and nearly nine months until signing day, which leaves you with plenty of time to screw it up if you don't stay on top of things. Now I've heard some good things about plans for the rest of the summer (see end of post) and you need to capitalize on that to keep this momentum going.

More importantly, coaches, please note that this off-season grade only accounts for 5% of your grade. The other 95% comes this fall, with a good portion of that consisting of the final exams in November. Don't ever forget it.

*I cannot stress the importance of the phrase "so far" enough.

EXTREME RECRUITING!!!

2009-06-01T12:27:00.001-05:00

Hey, recruit! Are you sick of boring recruiting?! Fed up with the same shirt-ripping, tunnel running BULLCRAP!?! Are Dodge Chargers just not a punch in your face anymore!?! Try EXTREME RECRUITING!!! That's right!! From the makers of "Tiger Prowl" comes all new EXTREME RECRUITING!!! This isn't your father's recruiting! This recruiting is a kick straight to your nads! It'll psyche you up! You'll be so psyched up, Nick Saban'll be like "slooow down" and you'll be like "F--- YOU! YOU'RE SOL!!" and kick him in the face with your five-star legs!!!

[Warning; 1 instance of language]

If you hate dressing up in those uncomfortable clothes, come dressed in a T-SHIRT and FLIP FLOPS!!! Bored with shaking hands with up-tight coaches!?! Try out Trooper Taylor's EXTREME CHEST-BUMP!!!

TROOPER TAYLOR!!!

Take a ride around the state in our EXTREME STRETCH LIMO!! It'll make your free Escalade look like a Ford Focus!! (NOT EXTREME!)

This new recruiting is SICK!! It's so SICK that they'll need to make a vaccine for it!! EXTREME RECRUITING is what you need to satisfy your thrill/college-seeking needs!! So don't be a TOTAL WUSS! Try EXTREME RECRUITING now!!!

Disclaimer: EXTREME RECRUITING is not liable for broken ribcages, increased hype, or secondary recruiting violations.

To all Auburn Students

2009-05-28T09:30:00.001-05:00

Just a heads up to any Auburn student reading. If there is any possible way to arrange it, take summer classes. My daily schedule looks something like this: sleep, tennis, sleep, class, sleep, 15 minutes of homework, pool, dinner, bar, sleep.

NOTE: Sleep may sometimes mean TV, Call of Duty, golf, or trips to see the Braves play.

Soapbox: Finebaum Comes out of the Closet

2009-05-11T14:22:00.000-05:00

BREAKING NEWS!! Paul Finebaum is a Bammer!

Right, I know, what's new? Any self-respecting Auburn fan who lives in the Birmingham area knows Paul Finebaum is a closet Bammer. Heck, most Alabama fans around here will admit, at the very least, that he caters to his listening audience, which is predominantly made up of Bama fans. None of this is news (as demonstrated by my ironic use above of the phrase "breaking news"; clever, huh?) and on any other day, this information would bounce off of me like it normally does.

But yesterday, I saw this piece of information. "Featuring Alabama's Anthony Grant and Paul Finebaum"? I am truly offended by this. I have come to accept the fact that the man is not totally unbiased, and that he will never really give Auburn their due, and that's fine with me. As an Auburn fan, I could care less what Finebaum thinks about the Tigers.

But this doesn't offend me as an Auburn fan. This offends me as an amateur journalist. Allow me to list the perks of being an amateur journalist, especially of the sports variety:

Porr grammer and speling is been alowed.
Girls dig guys with Auburn football blogs.
Real research is optional, and can be replaced by Wikipedia when convenient.
You can openly be a grossly biased fan of the team you cover, represent them in an official or unofficial capacity, and not be held accountable, because who cares? I'm just some idiot amateur with a blog.

And here are the drawbacks of being an amateur journalist:

No pay.
I may have lied about the thing with the girls.

Finebaum is cheating the system. If he claims to be a real journalist, and with a spot on Fox 6 as well as a column for the Mobile Press-Register I'm assuming he does, then he should act like one and not take sides on the biggest sports issue in the state, Auburn vs. Alabama. Until he does that, I think Fox and the Press-Register would be wise to drop him, or start paying me to publish my "unbiased opinion" for their respective organizations. I think I could do that.

My Nightly News Piece on Fox 6? You know where to reach me, Karle.

So it has now become clear that Finebaum is an out-of-the-closet Bammer. Henceforth, I shall no longer regard any Finebaum work as Journalism, and instead call it entertainment. There has always been a place where the lowest common denominator can come and fight with each other for our amusement. In the '90's it was Springer, today, it's Finebaum.

And that's what really grinds my gears. [Steps off soapbox]

NOTE: Aside from that, best of luck to both the Auburn crew of Chizik-Bo Jackson, and the Bammer team of Grant-Finebaum. As much as I hate Bammer/ disrespect Finebaum, that's a good cause, and you can't hate on that.

Ghost Ride the Prowl

2009-05-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

So lately, this has been all the rage:

"Get out the way, let Trooper Drive! Ghost ride, go crazy, who's that driving? DL Coach, Tracy!"

Initially, my reaction was simply to laugh. This has got to be the biggest offseason publicity stunt an Auburn coaching staff has ever put together. But then it gathered a little momentum and I began taking it a little more seriously. After all, isn't recruiting just one big publicity stunt? Everyone's stepping up their recruiting game. At Tennessee they're ripping their shirts off, Bammer's (allegedly) giving out Dodge Chargers; we've got to do something to keep up, right? And apparently, it's paying off. The so-called "Tiger Prowl" has gotten everyone's attention. The state's talking all about the Prowl and seem to have forgotten about any other team, at least for the moment. Even the Bammerham news media is all over this. So hey I'm all for it. The target of the Prowl is the big name recruit who idolizes the NFL life of flashy expensive things like this, so whatever Chiz and co. have to do to attract that, they have my full support. The world of recruiting is a mad world, so I suppose we're gonna have to do something a little weird if we're a part of it.

All this stuff about the Tiger Prowl got me thinking about recruiting in general. It is now May 2009, and we've already put a bunch of 17 year-olds all over the headlines of recruiting services and news media all over the country--17 year-olds that aren't even graduating high school for another year, and won't be on a college roster until August 2010. Names like Lache Seastrunk, Marcus Lattimore, and Michael Dyer are already household names, especially among houses of the Auburn Family. I know this because I was recently lambasted by a few friends for not knowing some of these names. That's right, I was blasted for not knowing all about some 17 year-old kid because I haven't researched him enough on this here interweb.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't following high school juniors around online normally put you on Chris Hansen's short list?

"Hello Rivals subscriber, why don't you have a seat over there?"

And signing up to pay someone to help you stalk these kids? That's got to be several kinds of illegal.

OK, maybe that's harsh, but all statutory jokes aside, you get what I'm saying. These guys aren't going to set foot in a college classroom for another two years, and already they're the next Carnell. Forget the fact that all those incredible videos you see of them are against severely over matched high schoolers, most of whom will most likely never play another snap of football after they graduate, these guys are stars!

In case you haven't noticed, I don't take much stock in the whole recruiting business. Not necessarily the recruiting, but more the grand publicity stunt that recruiting has become. It's not that I don't think recruiting itself is a very important thing. These kids are the future of Auburn football. But until they sign, give them a break. The only people that need to be that concerned about it are Gene Chizik and his coaching staff of super recruiters. I never pay attention to recruiting until February rolls around. Then I'll review the lists and read some of the endless commentary on the things. But I'm not about to let recruiting buzz rule my opinion about the football team. If you ask me, us getting all excited that Seastrunk had a "great visit" is as ridiculous as the Bammers claiming a national championship in recruiting. It's just laughable. Recruiting isn't a sport, so I won't follow it like one.

So best of luck to the Auburn coaching staff and the Tiger Prowl. I hope they get all the stars they want. But until next February, don't ask me my opinion on it, because it will not be informed. Frankly, no one's opinion will really be that informed until two or three years from now when these guys actually see some playing time.

Weak Sauce and Greatness

2009-04-19T01:35:00.001-05:00

Alright, I'll admit it, I'm a horrible person. Didn't even get to the top three in our countdown, which is totally weak sauce. My apologies to our mass of faithful followers. But, be comforted, because I will have an A-Day recap for you soon, and it will absolutely mention the top three things, so enjoy that cop-out on our part.

In the meantime: this may be the greatest Auburn-related thing since the 2004 football season.

The Auburner--pure genius.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #4: Offense

2009-04-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's time to get serious. Anyone who watches college football knows about our offensive woes the past few years. We can't seem to get anything going. Period. And it affects the defensive performance as well. Our defense is spectacular, but they can only score so many points a game. We need offense. Desperately.

Coach Chizik knows this. And he has already taken the necessary steps to help fix this problem, the most important being... Gus Malzahn.

This offense is exciting. It's all the rage. For crying out loud, it even got Arkansas into the SEC Championship game. It made Tulsa look like a darn good football team as well. If anybody watched the world famous GMAC Bowl, you know what I'm talking about. With this new system, we can be sure of improvement over last year's horrible disaster we called an offense. At the very least, this new offense will be very exciting to see in this early stage of its developement.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare this weekend, and you just might see something we haven't seen around here since 2005: a competent Auburn offense.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #5: Defense!

2009-04-14T01:33:00.000-05:00

Even through the rough years of 2007 and 2008, one aspect of our game either showed flashes of brilliance, and at times, was brilliant. Frankly, it's been brilliant for the last 5 years. Defense. It's what we take pride in here in the SEC. It's what separates us from the animals. It's what distinguishes us from the barbarians. BRILLIANT!

Auburn has great defense. That's just what we do. But put Chizik in the drivers seat, and you can bet the defense is going to look good.

Everyone knows Coach Chizik has caught a lot of flack for his head coaching job thus far (even if it was at perennial powerhouse Iowa State). But there is no denying that the man can coach some freaking defense. The highlight of his career is, of course, the 2004-2005 seasons in which he won 26 consecutive games as Auburn and Texas's DC.

I personally subscribe to the theory that, as in Tubbs' regime, the position of Defensive Coordinator is just a title. A puppet position for yes men to do the bidding of defensive geniuses.* So it's a given that this defense is going to be good.

Now I could give you all sorts of stats and numbers and other such witchcraft to support this theory that our defense is incredible, but I'm just not that smart....... or a witch (because I'm heavier than a duck). Suffice to say, Auburn's defense is the bee's knees. I mean you saw what they did to that finely tuned Gus Malzahn offense on Saturday.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare on Saturday, and watch our always powerful defense rock worlds!

*Yes, I realize the irony that, under this logic, Chizik was a yes man. But it's my argument dangit, and I'm sticking to it. Maybe it doesn't make sense. But it doesn't have to, I'm beautiful! ($1 Family Guy).

NOTE: Congrats to Brent on finally getting into the blogging world. Our little girl is growing up! We went from training wheels to training bras, and they both came off too fast, didn't they?

Top 10 Reasons to come to A-Day. #6: Easing the Pain of Iron Bowl News

2009-04-14T00:47:00.001-05:00

Hello world, as our loyal massive following knows by now, this is my first post. For two months I sat on my thumbs and all but ignored the fact that my name was on the internet as "writer" without anything to show for it. Realizing how much I was missing out on (cough cough shout out from Joe Cribb's Car Wash cough cough) I remembered how no one cared what I have to say and yet I still demand to attempt to be heard. So without further ado, REASON #6 TO GO TO A-DAY!

So earlier this week, al.com dropped an A-bomb on me courtesy of the SEC and everyone's favorite CBS. I'm sure all of you have heard by now (and if you're reading this blog I'm pretty sure you're digging pretty deep in the Auburn blogs anyway, so this shouldn't be news to any of you) but after they moved the Iron Bowl to the weekend of Thanksgiving last year, now they're moving it even earlier. It's not even the fact that they moved the game earlier but that now, the Iron Bowl must be played on a Friday. In all my Auburn fandom, which remember is not very long compared to most, I can not remember when the Iron Bowl was not on a Saturday. In fact, my sources say that it has been more than 20 years since the last time this happened (keep in mind my sources are the other author for IS25 so if we are wrong, feel free to correct us and make us feel stupid). Enough complaining, because blogs never include whiny moments of why my life is cruddy right now....wait

Al.com is playing the part of the bomb while the test houses represent my world. I know, sad right?

But, much like the hiring of Auburn's new coaching staff, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A-Day is coming to cure our new Iron Bowl schedule woes. For a brief weekend, we get to forget about the business side of college football, forget about the legalism of rating achievements and money hungry push for endorsements. For one glorious Saturday, we get to remember how beautiful 300 pound men can be (see inset for illustration of beauty). We get to marvel in the pureness of competition, to see how hard work truly pays off and can influence the depth chart. A-Day gives us a chance in the spring to feel at home again in Jordan and Hare's house on Pat Dye's yard with a lot of extended family members like one big family reunion when you don't really know any one there except maybe up to your second cousins, but you're all still connected. Only Auburn's family is connected with something thicker than blood, the common liking of a football team and overall athletics program.

So while they may try to ruin our celebration of all that is good with our program by lame scheduling hiccups, we will persevere. We won't let CBS cast a cloud of disappointment because seeing our players in a first string vs. second string showdown will lift our spirits over the clouds like the guy who tied a bunch of balloons to his lawn chair. Sorry CBS, next time bring a bigger BB gun.

By the way, Youtube makes writing posts a much longer and harder process. Interesting thing you learn about this blogger, he has ADD.

So come out to Jordan Hare on Saturday so we can all build each other up to get over this tragedy together and get lost in the awesomeness that is Auburn football. And if A-Day does not bring you out of the depression of the Iron Bowl being moved to Friday for the next two years (first I question what kind of fan you are), maybe this will.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #7: Quarterbacks

2009-04-12T01:08:00.000-05:00

I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing. "Please! No more quarterback controversy! We've had enough!" But hey, chill out! I fully believe that unlike the last staff, this one will do good on it's promise to name one starting quarterback. Mainly because I think this one has learned from the last one's mistakes. CGC (Coach Gene Chizik for those of you who don't know the language of the football internets) has thus far made every effort to make smart decisions that sit well with the Auburn fanbase. And I will go out on a limb and say that through assembling a coaching staff and the solid job he did on signing day, he's accomplished that. I expect to see his administration do everything in its power to avoid an ugly, extended quarterback race.

So now that we've established that the quarterback situation will meet a happy resolution (if you feel like I do) then here are the facts as they stand today. Auburn has three quarterbacks in serious contention this spring. Kodi Burns, Barrett Trotter, and Neil Caudle. Todd is still recovering from shoulder surgery in December. After today's scrimmage, that number is possibly down to two, although which two is up for debate.

The Bad News: Each of these three quarterbacks has their downfalls. Neil has a discouraging tendency to throw to players wearing the wrong color jersey. Kodi is inconsistent all around throwing, and when faced with a powerhouse defense, which you tend to find a lot in our league, he can crumble*. Barrett; well I guess his biggest problem is that I really haven't seen him enough to say what his problem is**.

The Good News: Each of these three quarterbacks is talented. Scary talented. All of them were highly touted coming out of high school. And all of them have shown moments of genius. All they have to do is iron out these inconsistencies-an minor mental error here, an errant throw there-and you have three incredible football players on your hands. Under the tutelage of the honorable Arthur Gustave Malzahn III, when someone finally distinguishes themselves from the pack, he could have the makings of a really great quarterback.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare in a week, and see one of these talented guys step up to the challenge and take the reigns of this Auburn offense!

* I won't mention the Iron Bowl. I won't. Promise.

**I know, I know. I'm an embarrassment to the BlAUging community. But hey, you knew what you were in for when you clicked over here. "Totally biased amateurs". Just look over to your right. It says so right there. Get off my back.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #8: It's Better than a Wedding Shower

2009-04-11T02:40:00.000-05:00

I have a certain friend, and I love that friend to death. I really do. He's a great guy, and we've been friends since middle school. I also like his fiancee. She and her family have been friends of my family for as long as I can remember. She's a sweetheart and she makes him happy. But for crying out loud, they grew up in Birmingham. BIRMINGHAM! She is an Auburn graduate. He will soon be graduating from that other school (but we always keep that in our prayers). You would think they know the rules of decent society in our lovely state of Alabama.

So you can imagine my surprise when, a couple of weeks ago, I get an invitation to a wedding shower on SATURDAY, APRIL FREAKING 18TH!! Of course, my initial reaction was, "Ha! Trash can." But upon further consideration, it occurred to me that my mother would be intensely disappointed that I missed this shower. She made it abundantly clear to me that I had the choice to skip it if I wanted to, but she would be very disappointed......

How is that a choice? I don't know any man that can say no to his mother when presented with that option, and frankly, I wouldn't want to meet that man. It was obvious that I was going to have to miss the most important A-Day game in years to go to a wedding shower.

But Hark! How the sweet relief of epiphany doth descend upon my brow! Mine eyes hath gazed upon the print of the invitation, and their quest for a loophole doth come to fruition! For the shower starts at 7:00 giving me ample time to see the game and run back to Birmingham.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare next Saturday, because it's darn sure better than going to a wedding shower!

News Flash!

2009-04-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Chris
Senior "Getting Stuff from Other News Sources" Editor
AUBURN - It was announced today that both the 2009 and 2010 Iron Bowls will be played on the Friday after Thanksgiving. A spokesperson for each of the schools said the following: "What?!"

I'm not really a big fan of this, although it will supposedly get more attention being on the CBS Friday game than the CBS or ESPN Saturday game. I just prefer the atmosphere on a Saturday better than a Friday. And now my pregame festivities are all out of whack. I'm going to have to drive back to Auburn from my family Thanksgiving right after the meal if I want to get back to town and Iron Bowl party the right way. I may not even get a nap! And that makes me angry. But maybe that's just me.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #9: Mario Fannin

2009-04-09T18:23:00.000-05:00

Name the most exciting offensive player on last year's team. If you said this guy (==>), you're probably right. Now name the most versatile player for this year's Gus Malzahn spread offense. If you said this guy again(==>), you are probably right again. Mario is one of our top two running backs, a great option to go in as a reciever, and played QB in high school, so he's a huge threat anywhere on the field. Gustave himself said Mario is a prime candidate for the "QB/RB" position in the WildTiger/Eagle/Whatever formation. Don't say you're not excited about seeing that, because that will be incredible.

So come on out to Jordan-Hare on Saturday to see a preview of "Super Mario" and hopefully, this year's games will end up better than this awesome highlight video from The Auburner did.

Top 10 Reasons to Come to A-Day. #10: Jordan-Hare Stadium

2009-04-08T19:14:00.001-05:00

Ok, so it probably won't look like this next Saturday, but it'll still be good to be back!

Jordan-Hare wasn't too much fun this past year. Sure, there was the La. Monroe game, a workman-like shutout, the too close for comfort Southern Miss win, the excruciatingly painful to watch Tennessee game, and the obligatory homecoming victory against Bizarro Auburn (UT Martin). I'll even admit that the Georgia game was the most fun I've ever had watching Auburn lose. But the fact is, the ugliest win is better than the prettiest loss, and four wins at home just doesn't cut it.

Good news! It's a brand new season! With a brand new coaching staff! Hope is restored, and is there any place in the world that stirs up a more hopeful feeling in your soul than Jordan-Hare Stadium? Of course not. Jordan-Hare Stadium is filled with more hopeyness than a hundred Obama campaign stops. It's the place top teams come to die. It's there that eventual national champs Florida fell in 2006. Where defending champs LSU were overcome on one last heroic drive in '04. Where Damon Duval hooked it in amidst swirling winds against top ranked Florida in '01. Where Bama threw a screen pass in '97, and LSU just threw too many passes in '94. Where Nix found Sanders, and Bostic raced to the end zone to seal a perfect season in '93. And it's the place where in 1989, after decades of fighting for it, we finally earned the opportunity to play Bama in our own back yard instead of theirs. Oh yeah, we beat that previously undefeated team that day, too.

So yeah, I'd say "there's a hopeful feeling there" is the main point I'm trying to make.

Personally, I haven't been to Jordan-Hare in the spring for several years. It's always a fun day, and for a few hours it feels like fall again. Finally, we get to do things that only happen in the fall, like pay $4 for a hot dog, or a Coke. Or get 3rd degree sunburns.... on one side of your body.

So come on out next Saturday and experience Jordan-Hare for one last time; before that dreaded five month dead period, that dreaded scourge we here in football-land give the name "Summer".

Relevant Information On the Way

2009-04-07T00:27:00.001-05:00

You remember that relevant information I promised but never came through on? Well, we here in Section 25 are prepared to remedy that. We're giving you a daily countdown of the Top 10 reasons to come to A-Day, starting tomorrow. It'll be insightful and intelligent. We hope. Be here or be...

....

....

..um

....

square.

AWOL

2009-03-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the long hiatus, fellow Tigers. Our brains are still on Spring Break. I'll have some posts relevant to the NIT and spring practice up soon. In the meantime, here's a cat flushing a toilet.

I promise, relevant stuff soon!

Crunch Time

2009-03-13T14:48:00.000-05:00

As I write this, USC is beating MSU about midway through the first. Our opponent is officially set, UF (no surprises there). I'm fixing to leave the loveliest village for a week or so, probably as soon as I post this. Hopefully the team isn't checked out like I am. Because all the last month doesn't count for much if we can't win at least a couple, probably three, this weekend. At this point, every minute we play is crucial in getting us to the tournament. And we HAVE to make the tournament. After all this excitement, I don't think I can handle having to settle for the NIT; the junior prom of postseason basketball tournaments. I mean really, who wants to go to the jr prom? About as many people as shoot for the NIT, that's who.

The good news: win or lose, whenever this distraction we call "basketball" is over, we have less than two weeks until spring practice starts! So be looking for some good stuff coming from us.

I really don't have much intelligent to say, but I promised an article by the end of the week, so here it is. (I may be a procrastinator, but at least I'm not as bad as my counterpart.) So I'll just leave you with the most intelligent thing I know to say...

WAR EAGLE! BEAT FLORIDA!!! (then Tennessee again, then LSU again)

Bubbles!

2009-03-10T03:14:00.000-05:00

Sites with analyses/ mentions of Auburn on the bubble:

ESPN (with sweet front page picture of Rasheem Barrett)

Other ESPN article with fun prediction for Auburn

The Car Wash (REALLY in-depth)

CBS

Expect an article from me later on this week about our adventures in roundball.

Expect an article from Brent about the offseason blues.... sometime maybe never; he's as bad a procrastinator as Mark and Ryan.

Daaaance? Anybody Wanna Daaaance?

2009-03-09T19:11:00.001-05:00

Auburn's stomping of LSU was fun this weekend. Doubly fun when you're watching it at the only joint on Bourbon Street showing the game, and it's split 50-50 with Auburn fans and corn dogs (though doubtlessly less fun than being there in person). Here's a few things I learned during the game on Saturday in New Orleans.

LSU fans actually smell like corn dogs. I thought it was a joke. Nope. I mean they're really funktastic. It even stuck out over the usual Bourbon Street stank, and that's saying something.
I'm developing a man-crush on Korvotney Barber. During the game I attempted to yell "good play, Vot!" but what actually came out was "I wanna move to Vermont and adopt a child with you, Vot!" I was as surprised as anyone else to hear it, but I need to face facts: being the only player in the league to average a double-double is awesome. I think the "Player of the Week" performance pushed it over the edge.
Fat, old ladies in the French Quarter don't need beads. 'Nuff said.

There's not really much to say now that hasn't already been said about this basketball team and their tourney hopes. If you ask me, let's just win out and punch our own ticket. If you've seen this team play in the last month you know it's possible. Oh yes, it is possible. I won't elaborate further on the hypotheticals, or break down stats for this weekend or anything like that, because that's just not my bag.

I will say that I've noticed a lot of buzz on campus about this basketball team. The most since I've been here, that's for sure. Everybody's breaking down our chances, and some are even talking SEC Championship banners. Frankly, at the level we're playing, I'm one of them. Put that together with the big turnout, especially amongst students, I've got to give Lebo and this team credit, they've gotten Auburn excited about basketball again. And it's fun.

So, here's the task at hand:

1. Florida/Arkansas

2. Tennessee/ Bammer/Vandy

3. The rest of the pack

War Eagle! Let's go dancin'! .....We can leave Bammer behind.

Big Weekend

2009-03-06T10:46:00.000-06:00

Big weekend coming up for the tigers! The women start SEC tourney play today against Ole Miss. And the men play "their most important game of the Lebo era" tomorrow when they face off against the LSU Tigeauxrs (I sure have been hearing that a lot lately). Unfortunately (for me) I will be in the worst place other than Baton Rouge to watch an LSU game this weekend... New Orleans. I was going to put up a serious preview of the game, but I got a little distracted over the past few days by a pesky little thing called "classes". But here are my weekend predictions.

Women win three and the SEC championship
The men utilize a great atmosphere in Beard-Eaves to propel them to a tough win: 72-70
BONUS PREDICTION: I get punched in the face by a raging LSU fan on Bourbon Street after the game.

*I really wanted to address the great textbook scandal of 2007/2009, but it'll have to wait. Don't worry, here's something fun in the meantime: