To all Auburn Students

Just a heads up to any Auburn student reading. If there is any possible way to arrange it, take summer classes. My daily schedule looks something like this: sleep, tennis, sleep, class, sleep, 15 minutes of homework, pool, dinner, bar, sleep.

NOTE: Sleep may sometimes mean TV, Call of Duty, golf, or trips to see the Braves play.

Soapbox: Finebaum Comes out of the Closet

BREAKING NEWS!! Paul Finebaum is a Bammer!

Right, I know, what's new? Any self-respecting Auburn fan who lives in the Birmingham area knows Paul Finebaum is a closet Bammer. Heck, most Alabama fans around here will admit, at the very least, that he caters to his listening audience, which is predominantly made up of Bama fans. None of this is news (as demonstrated by my ironic use above of the phrase "breaking news"; clever, huh?) and on any other day, this information would bounce off of me like it normally does.

But yesterday, I saw this piece of information. "Featuring Alabama's Anthony Grant and Paul Finebaum"? I am truly offended by this. I have come to accept the fact that the man is not totally unbiased, and that he will never really give Auburn their due, and that's fine with me. As an Auburn fan, I could care less what Finebaum thinks about the Tigers.

But this doesn't offend me as an Auburn fan. This offends me as an amateur journalist. Allow me to list the perks of being an amateur journalist, especially of the sports variety:

1. Porr grammer and speling is been alowed.
2. Girls dig guys with Auburn football blogs.
3. Real research is optional, and can be replaced by Wikipedia when convenient.
4. You can openly be a grossly biased fan of the team you cover, represent them in an official or unofficial capacity, and not be held accountable, because who cares? I'm just some idiot amateur with a blog.

And here are the drawbacks of being an amateur journalist:

1. No pay.
2. I may have lied about the thing with the girls.

Finebaum is cheating the system. If he claims to be a real journalist, and with a spot on Fox 6  as well as a column for the Mobile Press-Register I'm assuming he does, then he should act like one and not take sides on the biggest sports issue in the state, Auburn vs. Alabama. Until he does that, I think Fox and the Press-Register would be wise to drop him, or start paying me to publish my "unbiased opinion" for their respective organizations. I think I could do that.

My Nightly News Piece on Fox 6? You know where to reach me, Karle.

So it has now become clear that Finebaum is an out-of-the-closet Bammer. Henceforth, I shall no longer regard any Finebaum work as Journalism, and instead call it entertainment. There has always been a place where the lowest common denominator can come and fight with each other for our amusement. In the '90's it was Springer, today, it's Finebaum.

And that's what really grinds my gears. [Steps off soapbox]

NOTE: Aside from that, best of luck to both the Auburn crew of Chizik-Bo Jackson, and the Bammer team of Grant-Finebaum. As much as I hate Bammer/ disrespect Finebaum, that's a good cause, and you can't hate on that.

Ghost Ride the Prowl

So lately, this has been all the rage:

"Get out the way, let Trooper Drive! Ghost ride, go crazy, who's that driving? DL Coach, Tracy!"

Initially, my reaction was simply to laugh. This has got to be the biggest offseason publicity stunt an Auburn coaching staff has ever put together. But then it gathered a little momentum and I began taking it a little more seriously. After all, isn't recruiting just one big publicity stunt? Everyone's stepping up their recruiting game. At Tennessee they're ripping their shirts off, Bammer's (allegedly) giving out Dodge Chargers; we've got to do something to keep up, right? And apparently, it's paying off. The so-called "Tiger Prowl" has gotten everyone's attention. The state's talking all about the Prowl and seem to have forgotten about any other team, at least for the moment. Even the Bammerham news media is all over this. So hey I'm all for it. The target of the Prowl is the big name recruit who idolizes the NFL life of flashy expensive things like this, so whatever Chiz and co. have to do to attract that, they have my full support. The world of recruiting is a mad world, so I suppose we're gonna have to do something a little weird if we're a part of it.

All this stuff about the Tiger Prowl got me thinking about recruiting in general. It is now May 2009, and we've already put a bunch of 17 year-olds all over the headlines of recruiting services and news media all over the country--17 year-olds that aren't even graduating high school for another year, and won't be on a college roster until August 2010. Names like Lache Seastrunk, Marcus Lattimore, and Michael Dyer are already household names, especially among houses of the Auburn Family. I know this because I was recently lambasted by a few friends for not knowing some of these names. That's right, I was blasted for not knowing all about some 17 year-old kid because I haven't researched him enough on this here interweb.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't following high school juniors around online normally put you on Chris Hansen's short list?

"Hello Rivals subscriber, why don't you have a seat over there?"

And signing up to pay someone to help you stalk these kids? That's got to be several kinds of illegal.

OK, maybe that's harsh, but all statutory jokes aside, you get what I'm saying. These guys aren't going to set foot in a college classroom for another two years, and already they're the next Carnell. Forget the fact that all those incredible videos you see of them are against severely over matched high schoolers, most of whom will most likely never play another snap of football after they graduate, these guys are stars!

In case you haven't noticed, I don't take much stock in the whole recruiting business. Not necessarily the recruiting, but more the grand publicity stunt that recruiting has become. It's not that I don't think recruiting itself is a very important thing. These kids are the future of Auburn football. But until they sign, give them a break. The only people that need to be that concerned about it are Gene Chizik and his coaching staff of super recruiters. I never pay attention to recruiting until February rolls around. Then I'll review the lists and read some of the endless commentary on the things. But I'm not about to let recruiting buzz rule my opinion about the football team. If you ask me, us getting all excited that Seastrunk had a "great visit" is as ridiculous as the Bammers claiming a national championship in recruiting. It's just laughable. Recruiting isn't a sport, so I won't follow it like one.

So best of luck to the Auburn coaching staff and the Tiger Prowl. I hope they get all the stars they want. But until next February, don't ask me my opinion on it, because it will not be informed. Frankly, no one's opinion will really be that informed until two or three years from now when these guys actually see some playing time.